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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tina: Wally, do you want to go to lunch? Wally: No, thanks. I"m a digisexual now. Tina: What: Wally: I'm no longer attracted to people. I only like technology. People creep me out. You're basically a delivery system for viruses, germs, and unreasonable favor requests. I'm willing to take a picture of you, but that's as far as I'll go. Tina: This is the most disturbing conversation I've ever had. Wally: Thank goodness for Photoshop.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert stands on an air traffic control panel. He says to the Boss, "Thanks to my leadership, the new air traffic control system is designed on time and under budget." Dogbert continues, "I had to cut a few corners. This big radar-looking thing is a wall clock. And most of the buttons are glued on." The Boss says, "It looks like it might be um . . . dangerous." Dogbert says angrily, "Great . . . I finish early and what do I get: 'feature creep.'"

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Dilbert walks with a dark haired women. She says, "I never told my last boyfriend what a despicable creep he was." She grabs on to the front of Dilbert's shirt and says, "But you'll pay for his crimes and pay dearly!!" Dilbert looks mad and says, "Why don't you call him and tell him how you feel?" She says, "I have a date with him at ten o'clock tonight."

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Dilbert leans over the cubicle wall and says, "Could you turn off the music? I can't concentrate" to the coworker next to him. The coworker replies, "How about if I turn it down to a level where it still drives you nuts but you're too shy to complain a second time?" Dilbert says, "Thank you." The coworker says, "It might creep up over time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Topper Versus the Feature Creep "We need to add a keyword search function." "That's nothing!" "It should also search in different languages including Friulian, Kataang, Horpa and Wagi." "I like your style." "That's nothing! I want to marry you in a civil union."

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Someone said our pointy-haired boss hired a mole. Moles creep me out. "'mole' is a figure of speech. It's not literally a mole." "Why do I feel tiny eyes on the back of my neck?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #anger, #employees, #Family

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Boss: Carol, I consider you family. Carol: Great. You're lumping me in with a bunch of misfits, morons, and drunks. Get out of my sight, creep. Boss: Just like home.

Boss Wants Alice To Be His Work Wife

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Boss Wants Alice To Be His Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #wife, #spouse, #work, #creep, #relationships, #repulsive

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Boss: I decided to call you my work-wife. Alice: Gurk. I"m creeped out! I'm creeped out! I'm creeped out! Boss: Just like at home. Alice: I need a shower.