Search Results for "cubicle assignment"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new offcie, #volunteered, #coordinate, #move, #cubicle assignment, #existence, #lord wally, #puppet master, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "We're moving to a new office across town. I volunteered to coordinate the move." Wally continues, "I control your cubicle assignment. Nay, your very existence. From now on you will refer to me as 'Lord Wally the Puppet Master.'" Dilbert says, "I don't think it's legal to enjoy your work this much." Wally waves his hands and says, "I banish you to the cubicle closest to your boss!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1998's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #obsolete computer, #spirit crush, #cubicle, #safety hazrds, #look busy, #meaningful assignment, #wait, #binder, #desk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces Matt to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is our newest employee, Matt." In a private fashion, The Boss says, "Would you mind ..." Dilbert finishes his sentence, "Crushing his spirit?" The Boss confirms, "Right." Dilbert shows Matt his cubicle. Dilbert says to Matt, "This little box will be your home for sixty hours a week." Dilbert and Matt enter the cubicle. Dilbert points to a binder and says, "It comes with an obsolete computer and a binder about safety hazards." Dilbert continues, "Your challenge is to look busy until someone gives you a meaningful assignment." Matt inquires, "How long will that take?" As Dilbert exits the cubicle, he comments, "I'm still waiting for mine." Matt proceeds to read the binder in front of his computer. "Safety tip 1: Don't sit near any obsolete computers."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #argument, #assignment, #boss, #cubicle, #less is more, #more is less, #not interchangable, #wrong pharsing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Here's your assignment. Do it! Do it! Do it, you idiot!" Dilbert: What kind of management is that? The Boss: That's called tough love. Dilbert: Tough love only makes sense if I am doing something wrong and refuse to change. The Boss: Well, sometimes more is less. Dilbert: The saying it 'less is more,' not 'more is less. The Boss: If less equals more, then more must equal less. Duh. "This is the part where you usually refuse to admit you are wrong."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #research expense, #highly trained engineer, #not a clerk, #employee, #trivial task, #project cancelled, #assignment, #kudos award

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Dilbert, research this expense and find out what it's for." Dilbert looks at the paper and says, "It's only $2.37." Dilbert exclaims, "It could take all day to track down!" Dilbert continues, "I'm a highly trained engineer, not a clerk." Dilbert crumples up the paper and exclaims, "How can you justify wasting a valuable employee like me on a trivial task like this?!!" The Boss responds, "That reminds me: your project got canceled. This is your only assignment." The Boss does a dance and exclaims, "Woo-hoo! In your face!!!" As The Boss walks away, he thinks, "I wonder if he'll find out I spent $2.37 on his "kudos" award."

Vr Cubicle

Thank you for voting.
Vr Cubicle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virtual reality, #office, #cubicle, #fantasy, #illusion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're going to use our VR technology to take over the cubicle business. Write a program that makes users feel as if they are working in a fabric-covered box. Dilbert: Maybe we should think outside the box. Boss: Stop resisting change.

Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move

Thank you for voting.
Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #popularity, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, I"m putting you in charge of deciding who gets which cubicle after the office redesign. Asok: But... everyone will hate me for deciding who gets the best cubicles. Boss: Try to see it as an upgrade to your current situation of no one caring about you. Asok: That helps a little.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #stress, #meltdown cubicle, #theoretical workload limit, #brains full, #becomes overdue, #projects overdue, #tasks, #urgent, #funny noise, #missed dead line

View Transcript

Transcript

Voice: Meltdown in cubicle 459540! Dilbert: That's Te. He must have reached his T.W.L. Asok: His what? Dilbert: Theoretical workload limit. In layman's terms, his brain is full. It starts when just one of your projects becomes overdue. You end up spending all of your time explaining why you didn't get it done. That makes all of your other projects overdue. When ever task become urgent, your brain can't decide what to do next. Brains make a funny noise when they shut down. Noise: Poink. Asok: Uh-oh. I just missed a deadline. Wally: And so it begins.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #engineers, #revenge, #loud talker, #chronic faltualator, #seating arrangements, #cubicle arrangements, #sound, #noise, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Office relocation Alice says, "Your floor plan puts me between a loud talker and a chronic flatulator." Tina says, "I could move you to a cubicle between a guy who clears his throat all day and a woman who laughs too much." Alice says, "Is this because I once said you aren't smart enough to be an engineer?" Tina says, "Look what I engineered?" Office Relocation

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #unemployed, #job performance, #fire someone, #cubicle, #fired, #wake up call, #greatness, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, your job performance is terrific. Dilbert: GAAA!!! That's code for "I'm going to fire someone else and make you do two jobs." Boss: Yes, but it's still better to be you than the guy I'm going to fire. Dilbert: We don't know that! This might be the wake-up call that spurs him on to greatness while I work myself to death in this cubicle. Boss: There's no way to please some people. Ted, you're fired. Ted: YES!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #ugly partment, #two ugly roomates, #ugly bus, #ugly building, #ugly cubicle, #eat lunch

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I live in an ugly apartment with two ugly roommates. Each workday I take an ugly bus to an ugly building and spend the entire day in my ugly cubicle. Dilbert: At least you get to eat lunch with us. Asok: I've said too much.