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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #economic policy, #nobel winning, #economist, #fiscal policy, #beard, #daily water waster

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Dogbert: I brought a Nobel-winning economist to tell you why everything you say about fiscal policy is wrong. Economist: For starters, if you knew anything about economics you would have a beard. Dogbert: The first few minutes are mostly trash talk. Economist: Ha! You bathe daily, water-waster!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #albanian inflation, #billion percent, #fetid water, #hyper inflation

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Elbonian inflation reaches a billion percent, daily An Elbonian says, "Is this enough for a small?" $ Fetid water! Another Elbonian says, "A minute ago, yes. Now it costs a hundred times more." The first Elbonian says, "Problem solved."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2011's comic on:


Tags #groceries & grocery stores, #natural disasters, #saving & investment, #complete meltdown, #financial system, #six months, #Food, #water, #batteries, #gold coins, #light on defensive weapontry, #protein bars

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Dilbert: I'm preparing for the complete meltdown of our financial system. I've got six months of food and water. I have batteries, flashlights, and gold coins. Alice: I'm prepare too. I have your home address. And I noticed that your preparations are light on defensive weaponry. Can you add some protein bars to the shopping list?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #environmental issues, #fracking, #competitors, #headquarters, #pollute water, #generate earthquakes, #fracking awesome

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CEO: We're going to start fracking under our biggest competitors headquarters. My plan is to pollute their water and generate earthquakes to destroy their campus. The project code name is "fracking awesome." Dilbert: Catchy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ratio, #liquidity to stupidity, #reincarnation fund, #985 water, #cheap suit, #amazing brain

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Dogbert: Good news - your ratio of liquidity is very low. You qualify to invest in my reincarnation fund. Man: If my ratio is low, that means IM ...uh... Made of liquid. Dogbert: Id say you're 98% water, 2% cheap suit, and whats left is your amazing brain.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 1994's comic on:


Tags #potluck lunch, #bring bags, #salt, #ice, #beverage, #mineral water

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Alice: We've reached a new low in the 'potluck lunch' sign-up. Twelve people signed up to bring bags of ice and one person is bringing slat. I need one of you at least bring a beverage. Wally: Put me down for one bag of sparkling mineral water.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1994's comic on:


Tags #horse drink, #lead a horse to water, #stick a hose, #tape hose in mouth, #horse drink water

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Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the couch armrest. Dogbert says, "Remember the old saying, Ratbert: you can lead a horse to water . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . But by the time you got there you'd smell like a horse and your butt would hurt." Ratbert asks, "If you stuck a hose in a horse's mouth and taped it there, could you make the horse drink?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah, I've tried it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #the problem, #under staffed, #six weeks, #behind, #the analysis, #add people, #the result, #daily stats reports, #situation

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The caption reads, "The problem . . ." Dilbert enters looking frazzled and says to the Boss, "We're so under-staffed that the project is six weeks behind schedule." The caption reads, "The analysis . . ." The Boss looks pensive and thinks, "I can't add people . . . I can't change the due date . . . I can't ignore it." The caption reads, "The result . . ." Dilbert says to Wally and Alice, "He wants daily status reports until the situation improves." All three look overworked and disheveled.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1995's comic on:


Tags #divide check, #engineers, #unpopular subsidy, #water, #13%, #tip amount, #questionable

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Dilbert, Wally and another man sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert looks at the check and says, "We could simply divide the check by three . . ." The waitress thinks, "Uh-oh. Engineers." Dilbert continues, "But that would result in an unpopular subsidy of Wally's salmon. Does anybody have a calculator-watch?" The caption says, "Hours later." The other engineer says to the waitress as she approaches the table with a pitcher, "This is the tie-breaker round of water to decide if you get 13% or 13.5%." The waitress growls, "RRRR."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ask applicants sone questions, #see how think, #five gallon, #bucket, #holds water, #job interview

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Dilbert sits at a table with a man. Dilbert says, "We like to ask our applicants some questions that will allow us to see how you think." Dilbert asks, "If you have a five-gallon bucket and a fifty-gallon bucket, how can you tell which one holds more water?" The man beats his head with his fists and says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Dilbert says, "When I said, 'See how you think,' what I meant was . . ."