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Team Building Dance

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Team Building Dance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #team-building, #dance, #rules, #restrictions, #Fun

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Boss: This year's team-building event will be a dance. No alcohol will be served. The event is for employees only, and you're not allowed to touch each other. Have a great time. Dilbert: How?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #losers, #meetings, #sales personnel, #sell to customers, #winners sell, #low quota levels, #ch ching dance

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Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar Dogbert says, "Losers sell to customers." Dogbert says, "Winners sell the idea of low quota levels to their own bosses." Dogbert says, "Now everyone do the cha-ching dance!" Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #magic, #supernatural practices, #sacred dance, #cucbicle, #useful by comparison

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Dilbert: It is time for the sacred dance of the cubicle. Hi-aw-ah-hee hu-ha-ya-ya wa-ha-ya-yi. That should make everything I do today seem useful by comparison.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bug fixed, #code, #ratbert, #rat dance, #bugs to fix, #web browser, #authored browser

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Dilbert sits at his computer and says to Ratbert, "The company pays me ten dollars for every bug I fix in my code, Ratbert." Dilbert pushes his keyboard toward Ratbert and says, "I want you to do your little rat dance on my keyboard so I'll have lots of bugs to fix." Ratbert asks as he dances on the keyboard, "How am I doing?" Dilbert looks at the screen and says, "Not so good. You just authored a web browser."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dance, #Dogbert, #employees, #hired, #more creative, #poetry, #souls, #special blend, #spiritually fulfilled, #dog with hat

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Dogbert, who is wearing a wizard's hat, stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I can make your employees more creative and spiritually fulfilled." Dogbert continues, "I use my special blend of poetry and dance to touch their souls." The Boss says, "Okay. You're hired." Dogbert stands on a desk and dances while Alice, Wally and Dilbert watch. Dogbert recites, "There once was a dog with a hat . . . Who got paid to dance like that . . ." Wally says, "Hey! My soul just healed!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1996's comic on:


Tags #angels dance in head, #fault, #huge number, #jeopardizing, #prototype, #quality assurance, #schedule, #tree falls forest

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The Boss says to Ratbert, "In the short time you've worked in quality assurance, you've found a huge number of flaws in our prototype." Ratbert replies, "That's my job!" The Boss continues, "You're jeopardizing our schedule. The entire project will fail and it's all YOUR fault." Ratbert asks, "Why is it MY fault?" The Boss replies, "If a tree falls in the forest . . . And we've already sold the tree . . . Does it have quality?" Ratbert asks, "How many angels can dance on your head?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new sex symbols, #online personals, #tech prowness, #moonlit walks, #must like to dance, #applicants

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Dilbert sits on the couch using a laptop and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Men who understand technology are the new sex symbols. Your online personals ad should emphasize your technical prowess." Dilbert asks, "How about 'Looking for woman who likes moonlit walks so I'll have more time alone with my computer'?" Dilbert continues, "And 'Must like to dance.' That's so I won't get a flabby, uncoordinated applicant." Dogbert says, "Don't call them 'applicants' on the first date."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 1997's comic on:


Tags #installation successful, #second digital, #access internet, #tradition requires, #victory dance, #engineers, #kill him, #justified

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Dilbert stands in front of his home computer. Dilbert thinks, "The installation is successful. I have 128 kilobits per second of digital access to the internet." Dilbert dances. Dilbert thinks, "As tradition requires, I do the engineer's victory dance." Dogbert films with a video camera. Dogbert says, "...so if I ever have to kill him, the jury will realize it was justified." Ratbert asks, "Could you hurry?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1995's comic on:


Tags #primitive, #donut scavenging man, #yellow sticky notes, #humiliation, #live off land, #bountiful harvest, #dance to gods, #meeting notices

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Wally, Dilbert and Alice walk out of a conference room. Wally says, "That's four hours that I'd like to have back." Dilbert asks, "Who called that meeting anyway?" Dilbert says, "I must have left my calendar in there." Dilbert walks into the room and sees a man grabbing doughnuts from a plate on the conference table. Dilbert says, "I've discovered a primitive donut-scavenging man clad only in yellow sticky notes!!" The man says, "I was once like you, before the great rif." The man continues, "But rather than leave in humiliation I decided to stay and live off the land like our proud ancestors." The man says as he dances, "To ensure a bountiful harvest I do my donut dance to the gods." The man continues, "When that doesn't work I distribute meeting notices." Dilbert shouts, "YOU're the one!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil, #better job, #agreement, #industry, #cripes, #dance on head

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert leans over the cubicle wall of a bearded man. Catbert says, "So you think you're leaving for a better job?" The man says, "Yes." Catbert says, "Your agreement with us bans you from working in this industry if you quit. Ha!" Catbert dances on the man's head. Catbert says, "Holy cripes! It DOES say you can dance on my head." Catbert says, "Hold still."