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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dances, #dancing dogs, #go wild, #healed, #healthy, #invoice, #poems, #primal screams, #tech me, #total well being

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Dogbert, who is wearing a wizard's hat, stands on the desk in Alice's cubicle. Dogbert asks, "Have my poems and dances healed your soul yet, Alice? The company cares about your total well being." Alice says, "Excuse me." Alice leans over the cubicle wall and shouts at the Boss, "We want more MONEY, not more dancing dogs!!! M-O-N-E-Y!! The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "So you're saying those primal screams are healthy? Can you teach me to do it?" Dogbert says, "Here's my invoice - go wild."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 1997's comic on:


Tags #feel for engineers, #tired of pretty boys, #appreciate dancing, #exotic dancing, #passion, #phyiscs, #scratch ear, #can't get enough

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Dilbert sits in the park wearing a jogging suit and with his arms crossed. He looks mad. Dogbert sits witha cute girl. She says, "until I met you, Dogbert, I always fell for engineers." The girl pets Dogbert. She says, "But I'm tired of pretty boys. i want a guy who will appreciate my exotic dancing as much as my passion for physics." Dilbert starts sobbing. Dogbert says, "Scratch under this ear for a minute." The girl lifts his ear and says, "Sure. I can't get enough touching."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #webmistress ming, #website, #dancing skeletins, #suggest dinosuar, #pictures

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Webmistress Ming: The boss is sitting in front of his computer and Ming is standing taking notes. The boss says, "Our web site needs some dancing skeletons." The boss says, "Normally I'd suggest dinosaur pictures but they're too big for our disk drives." Ming takes notes. The boss says, "Are you getting this down, Ming?" Mign answers, "How do you spell "#%*@!"?" and walks away.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2003's comic on:


Tags #huge galatians project, #disqualified, #one minute late, #future depends on win bid, #winning bid, #future of company, #can't be late, #line dancing sign

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"After months of work, I finished our bid for the huge galatikus project." "I'll deliver it to them." "If it's on minute late, we'll be disqualified. The future of our company depends on us winning this bid." "He must think I'm a... Whoa, what's this?" "Irish line dancing lessons 10% off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #scolded by employee, #boss late, #dumb move, #irish line dancing, #mail document, #late bid

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Dilbert: "And you failed at your primary objective of winning a bid for the galatikus job." "That's because you said you'd deliver the bid on time, but you got seduced by Irish line-dancing lessons and forgot to mail it!" The Boss: "I can't believe you're trying to pin the blame on the Irish."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2004's comic on:


Tags #vogue, #madonna, #hug liar, #gandhi, #dancing, #lunch table

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"So I was dancing with Madonna and went "Vogue" like this. She liked the idea and made a video." "You've either had a fascinating life or you're a huge liar. I'm still undecided." "Ghandi said the same thing. SO I said, 'I'm not eating until you take it back.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #cable, #doesn't attach, #create demand, #young people dancing, #budget cuts

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Our new product is a cable that doesn't attach to anything. "We hope to create demand via a series of commercials showing young people dancing." "And then we'll all go straight to hell." "He didn't take the last round of budget cuts well."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #chakras, #compatibility, #dancing, #dating, #yoga, #risk, #guzzle wine, #live music, #chakra energy, #hives, #hate dance

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Woman: I like dancing and... Dilbert: I'm out. I avoid any relationship that has a risk of dancing. Woman: You're rejecting me because I like to dance? Dilbert: Yeah, it would start out all innocent... but two months into it you'd be guzzling wine and dragging me toward live music. Then you'd start doing all this... and this... and some of this... Woman: I also enjoy doing yoga to release my chakra energy. Does that bother you? Dilbert: I think I'm getting hives.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1992's comic on:


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Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone and saying, "Swing your partner, dosey-do. Now clap your hands . . ." On the dance floor, people are square dancing. Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know . . . I'll bluff the rest." Dogbert says, "Slap your partner in the face, / Write bad checks all over the place, / Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, / Get a divorce and lose your house . . . Uh . . . dosey-do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 1992's comic on:


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Dilbert sits in his chair and Ratbert stands on the hassock. Ratbert asks, "Why are you so glum?" Dilbert replies, "It's lonely when Dogbert is away." Ratbert says as he dances, "Lonely? Ha! Let me entertain you with a little dance number. Then we'll bond and I'll replace Dogbert as your best friend!" Ratbert dances and signs "Kumbaya." Dilbert says, "Now I'm lonely and I have a dancing rat."