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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2007's comic on:


Tags #employees, #asbestos, #ceiling, #wasn't dangerous, #hazmat suit, #not fair, #judge, #clothes

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The Boss: The employees are getting all whiney about the asbestos in the ceiling." "I told them it wasn't dangerous, but apparently I'm not credible in this HazMat suit." "I don't think it's fair that they judge me by my clothes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #consumer protection, #court ordered, #good defense, #internal emails, #known to be dangerous

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Lawyer: The court ordered us to turn over all of our internal emails. Have you ever mentioned in email that our products are known to be dangerous but we don't care? CEO: I don't even know what products we make. Lawyer: That's a good defense. We might need that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2014's comic on:


Tags #celestial bodies, #managers & supervisors, #black hole, #management style, #dangerous, #importnat emails, #employee named ted

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Catbert: Your management style has caused a black hole to form. Boss: Is it dangerous? Catbert: No to us. It only absorbs important emails from employees. And en employee named Ted, apparently.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2014's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #thinking, #mental energy, #executive attention, #brain network, #dangerous territory, #surpasses last remnets, #sociala awreness, #misread social cues

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Wally: He transferred all of his mental energy to the executive attention network of his brain to solve a problem. This is dangerous territory for an engineer because it suppresses the last remnants of his social awareness. Expect him to misread social cues. Dilbert: They're here to kill me.

Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts

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Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #ceos, #death, #deception, #split duites, #boring meetings, #publicity stunts, #business scheme, #3people

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Co-CEOs. Dogbert: Let's split the duties this way... I will be the CEO who attends boring meetings, and you can be more of a Richard Branson type who does dangerous publicity stunts. Co-CEO: I love that idea. Dogbert: And then there was one.

Robots Will Do The Dangerous Jobs

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Robots Will Do The Dangerous Jobs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #rights, #civil liberties, #technology, #robots, #abuse, #bias

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CEO: Our plan is to use robots for all the jobs that are dangerous or demeaning. No one cares if a robot gets ripped to shreds in an industrial accident. Robot: Eh? CEO: Are we cool? Robot: I'm cool, but you're going to be room temperature.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #deception, #ignorance (knowledge), #cruelty

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Carol: You should build your own helicopter from a kit. I'll send you a link to the website. It's only dangerous for people who are too dumb to know how dumb they are. Boss: Is it as easy as it sounds? I have pliers. Carol: Yes!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #doctors, #medicines

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Dilbert: Studies show that nice guys get paid less than aggressive jerks. Dogbert: Maybe you should offer your doctor 10% of your next raise if he gives you testosterone injections. Dilbert: That would be illegal, dangerous, and unethical. Dogbert: Said the man with the tiny income.

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Share August 29, 1989's comic on:


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Dilbert says to Dogbert who is sitting in his chair, "Don't get too close to my lab today." Dogbert asks, "Why not?" Dilbert answers, "I'm using radiation to mutate new species of vegetables." Dogbert asks, "Isn't that dangerous?" Dilbert replies, "Funny, the broccoli asked me the same question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1991's comic on:


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Dogbert says, "As long as you're here, Ratbert, I could use your help." Ratbert says, "At your service!" Dogbert opens the refrigerator and says, "I'd like you to test the stuff in the fridge and see if it's dangerous." Ratbert's head is stuck inside a ketchup bottle. He says to Dogbert, "Put a question mark by ketchup." Dogbert marks his clipboard.