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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #cloud of doom, #dangerous and sexy, #lighting strikes, #woman, #flirting with dilbert

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Dilbert stands in a crowd of people at a party. The cloud of doom floats above his head. A woman says, "I notice you have a cloud of doom. I must admit it makes you seem dangerous and sexy." A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes the woman. Dilbert says, "Sorry. That happens to everyone who gets near me." The woman replies, "No problem. I'm one of those women who never learn." Smoke rises from the woman and her clothes are charred.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #doctors, #employees, #medicines, #nice guys, #paid less, #aggressive jerks, #offer raise, #testosterone injections, #illegal, #dangerous, #unethical, #tiny income, #business

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Dilbert: Studies show that nice guys get paid less than aggressive jerks. Dogbert: Maybe you should offer your doctor 10% of your next raise if he gives you testosterone injections. Dilbert: That would be illegal, dangerous, and unethical. Dogbert: Said the man with the tiny income.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #poodle, #nightfall, #pound, #incarceration, #dream sequence, #dangerous, #place

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Dogbert: Don't worry, killer, I'll get us out of this pound by nightfall. Poodle: How? Dogbert: I used my one phone call to call a wrecking company to destroy this place. Poodle: That sound dangerous to me. Coming up: A near-death experience or possibly just a stupid dream sequence.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #first, #date, #elvis, #sexy, #dead, #woman

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, I know it's only our first date, but what do you think of me?" The woman replies, "You remind me of Elvis." Dilbert thinks, "Sexy." The woman thinks, "Dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1991's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #dangerous, #fridge, #ketchup, #study, #experiment, #prank

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Dogbert says, "As long as you're here, Ratbert, I could use your help." Ratbert says, "At your service!" Dogbert opens the refrigerator and says, "I'd like you to test the stuff in the fridge and see if it's dangerous." Ratbert's head is stuck inside a ketchup bottle. He says to Dogbert, "Put a question mark by ketchup." Dogbert marks his clipboard.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #left engineering, #acme manger, #sexy, #liz, #decrease sex appeal, #planning number, #ham radio licence, #compensate loss, #goose bumps

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Dilbert walks outside with Liz. Dilbert asks her, "If I left engineering and became a manager would I be as sexy as I am now, Liz?" Liz responds, "I think it would decrease your sex appeal by 17%. But that's just a planning number." Dilbert and Liz sit on the couch. Dilbert asks, "What if I got my ham radio license to compensate for the loss?" Liz replies, "Look at my arm: goose bumps."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #air traffic control system, #on time, #under budget, #feature creep, #dangerous, #wall clock

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Dogbert stands on an air traffic control panel. He says to the Boss, "Thanks to my leadership, the new air traffic control system is designed on time and under budget." Dogbert continues, "I had to cut a few corners. This big radar-looking thing is a wall clock. And most of the buttons are glued on." The Boss says, "It looks like it might be um . . . dangerous." Dogbert says angrily, "Great . . . I finish early and what do I get: 'feature creep.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #alice slams wally, #fast forwarded, #harrasment, #ignore sexy, #mandatory video, #sext, #sexual harassment, #video, #evolution

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Wally says to Alice, "I just watched the mandatory video on sexual harassment. It worked!" Wally continues, "In only thirty minutes, that video corrected a billion years of evolution. Do something sexy and watch me ignore it!" After Alice shoves Wally's head into the wall, he says, "I probably shouldn't have fast-forwarded through the boring parts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dierctor, #life insurance policy, #raise blood pressure, #dangerous levels, #fifty time salary, #ceo

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Catbert peers over a wall and says, "Wally, the company bought a life insurance policy on you." Catbert explains, "Our plan is to raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels." Catbert asks, "Did you know that our CEO makes fifty times your salary even though our stock is down?" Wally covers his ears and shouts, "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil, #hr director, #new policy, #travel separate flights, #dangerous hobbies

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Catbert stands on the back of Wally's chair. He says, "New policy: Key employees must travel on separate flights to reduce risk." Catbert sits on Wally's head and continues, "Other employees, such as Wally, are encouraged to take up dangerous hobbies." Wally sits at a table with Alice and Dilbert eating lunch. Wally says, "I've noticed that when a new policy mentions me by name, it's never a good thing."