Search Results for "decisions"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Dilbert Reduces Decisions

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Reduces Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #clothing, #dating, #teasing, #deciding, #decisions, #clothes, #attractive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I only wear tube clothes now because it reduces my number of daily decisions. Tina: You mean decisions such as... where to go on a date? Because I don't see that coming up. Dilbert: I'm still fine-tuning the system.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #club, #bad decisions, #embarassed, #disguise, #mustache

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's society for people who always make bad decisions." Dogbert says, "I'd like to thank each of you for choosing the platinum stain protection plan with your membership dues." Dogbert says, "If your reputations gets stained by being in this group, the brochure will teach you how grow a mustache disguise." <Man says, "What if I already have one?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #cost estimate, #deny, #numbers, #manipulate, #decisions, #hurt, #typing at computer, #humming noise, #annoy, #go away, #angry face, #home, #sitting on couch

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Can I get a rough cost estimate for the design phase?" Dilbert says, "No. I don't trust you with numbers." Coworker says, "What?" Dilbert says, "You're the kind of guy who will remove useful qualifiers and distribute a figure as if it is true in all cases." Dilbert says, "Decisions will be made. People will get hurt." Dilbert says, "For everyone's sake, the safest thing I can do is make an annoying humming sound until you go away." Dilbert says, "Hummmmm-mmmmmmmmm-mmmmm." Dilbert says, "Half of life is making people go away." Dogbert says, "Humm-mmmm"

App For Hiring Decisions

Thank you for voting.
App For Hiring Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mansplaining, #tech, #programmers, #coders, #interview, #hiring, #stereotype

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: No need to talk. Now we use an app to make hiring decisions. The app checked your online footprint and says you're a serial mansplainer with an unsuccessful dating history. I assume that means you have awesome technical skills. Interviewee: Full stack!

Boss Decision Making

Thank you for voting.
Boss Decision Making - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #decisions, #thinking, #stress, #hunger, #fitbit, #health tracker, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I hacked into your fitness band and analyzed your decision-making under different conditions. When you are hungry, tired, or stressed, you make terrible decisions. Boss: How often is that? Dilbert: Only when you're awake.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #interviews

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm doing a study to find out which managers make dumb decisions. Would you like to participate? Boss: I don't see why not. Dogbert: And we're done.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #interviews

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Can you work long hours if needed? Man: Yes. It's normal for me to work 14 hours a day. Alice: Research shows that working long hours causes people to make bad decisions. So we know you're a bad decision maker. Are you a good communicator? Man: Is the right answer "no"? Interview

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #employees, #executives

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Stop right there. Don't tell me the technical details of your idea. I make my decisions based on what I know about the people involved. Dilbert: You know less about me than you know about my idea. Boss: Is your idea pale and poorly dressed?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've read that smart people make bad decisions because of their hubris. Catbert: Hubris? What is that? Boss: Beats me. But obviously I'm a prime candidate to get it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: My boss asked me to attend your presentation on his behalf. I should warn you that I'm not authorized to make decisions, and I take poor notes. Dilbert: Okay. Let's begin wasting our time! Coworker: I"m not even sure I'm in the right meeting.