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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #harmful to workers, #demonstrate danger, #controlled experimnet, #rebellion, #sarcasm, #complacency, #going bald

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WARNING!! Dogbert sits behind a desk with Wally and says, "Author Norman Solomon has determined that the Dilbert comic strip is harmful to workers." A comic strip sits on the table. Dogbert shows the comic strip to Wally and says, "I will demonstrate the danger with this carefully controlled experiment." Dogbert asks, "Have your palns for rebellion been replaced by sarcasm and complacency?" Wally rubs his head and says, "And I think I'm going bald, too!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 1998's comic on:


Tags #%#*!!*, #anger, #burning walls eyebrow, #curse, #demonstrate power, #eyebrows burn off, #scream

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Ann sits in a metting with Wally and Dilbert. Ann says, "If you anger me, I will curse at you until your eyebrows burn off." Ann says, "I ll demonstrate my power by burning Wally's left eyebrow." Wally's mouth drops in shock. Ann curses loudly. Wally and Dilbert look at Wally's lap. Wally says, "Ow! Ow! That's not an eyebrow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demonstrate, #life to have meaning, #wrong place, #can't do that, #meeting, #presentation

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Dilbert says to a coworker, "I'd like to demonstrate some things we can't do." The coworker responds, "I don't care about things you can't do." Dilbert says, "I know, but it makes a better demonstration this way." The coworker exclaims, "I want my life to have meaning!" Dilbert points out and says, "You came to the wrong place." Dilbert adds, "Can't do that."

Text Is More Important Than Dilbert

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Text Is More Important Than Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cell phones, #distraction, #power, #subversion, #text, #text message, #attention, #pellet of attention, #ignore, #superior, #demonstrate

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Boss: Hold on, I have a text message that is probably more important than you. I will demonstrate my power over you by handling a text message while you sit there, waiting for a pellet of my attention. Stop texting me! Dilbert: Mmm... pellet.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dolls, #dummy, #treat customers, #metaphor, #stunned, #employees shicked, #boss demonstrates

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Boss: I'll use this dummy to demonstrate the way our company wants us to treat customers. Dilbert: We think it was meant as a metaphor, but there's no way to be sure.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your engineering knowledge is good, but I can't promote you to 'prima donna.'" The Boss continues, ". . . Unless you demonstrate a few more serious personality disorders." Dilbert replies, "I can mumble." The Boss says, "Sure, but can you do it with disdain for all of humanity?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'm told by a reliable source that our senior vice president made a sound like 'yurp' at lunch." The Boss continues, "What does it mean? Does it signal a new set of priorities? We must demonstrate our commitment to this vision." Dilbert asks, "What was the context of this vision?" The Boss replies, "All we know is he was eating a burrito."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #consulting partner, #jobs outsiurced, #stooped over, #very bad ergo nomics

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Dilbert stands on a desk next to Ratbert, who is bending over. Dogbert points to Ratbert and says, "My consulting partner, Ratbert, will demonstrate how to inform employees that their jobs will be outsourced." As he kicks Ratbert off the desk and into a trash can, Dogbert says, "You're history. Scram." The Boss asks, "How do I get them all stooped over?" Dogbert replies, "I recommend a program of very bad ergonomics."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Did I ever tell you what dogs believe about the universe?" Dogbert explains, "We believe in infinite parallel universes, all slightly different." Dogbert continues, "For example, in our universe, Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off to demonstrate his love for a woman." Dogbert continues, "But, in a parallel universe, Van Gogh loses the ear in a tragic toe-nail clipping accident . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Vinnie clips the nail, and it just goes flyin' up and rips his ear clean off." Dilbert says, "In yet another universe, maybe he had a dog who talked his ear off." Dogbert replies, "This is why dogs rarely discuss their beliefs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dogcart versus catbert, #dilbert death, #bob the donosuar, #fur wedgie, #lost paperwork, #ordering execustion

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The caption says, "Dogbert versus Catbert." Dogbert stands on Catbert's desk and says, "I understand you've sentenced Dilbert to death." Catbert asks, "Is that a problem?" Bob the Dinosaur stands behind Dogbert and looks menacing. Dogbert says, "My assistant, Bob the Dinosaur, will now demonstrate how to give a cat a 'fur wedgie.'" Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. He says to Dogbert, "I've been pardoned. Somehow they lost the paperwork ordering my execution." Dogbert responds, "It probably fell into a crack."