Search Results for "depression"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #created software, #copyrighted work, #available, #for free, #plunge, #depression, #creativity, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern says to Dilbert, "I created software that makes all copyrighted work on the net available for free!" Dilbert asks Asok, "Wouldn't that destroy all forms of creativity and plunge us into a depression?" Asok says to Dilbert, "Yes... But it is very neat."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #depression (mental state), #work ethic, #underling, #long hours, #insane workload, #fatigue, #depression, #organ failure, #greetings, #how are you?, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's it going, underling? Dilbert: My long hours and insane workload are causing fatigue, depression, and organ failure. I'll probably be dead in a month. Boss: When did people stop saying "fine?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2003's comic on:


Tags #performance review, #denial, #anger, #bargaining, #depression, #acceptance, #trash talking, #lunch, #objectives, #glowing email, #7 stages, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Seven Stages of a Performance Review. Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "It's time." Headline: Denial. Carol is sitting across from the Boss. She looks at her evaluation and exclaims, "What the...? These aren't even my objectives!" Headline: Anger. Alice grabs The Boss by his tie and says, "Who said these things about me?!" Headline: Bargaining. Alice calms down and asks, "What if I make someone write a glowing e-mail about me?" Headline: Depression. Alice slumps in her chair and says, "Morale slipping away... hair.... so.... limp." Headline: Acceptance. Alice stands to leave and says, "Whatever, there's no budget for raises anyway." Headline: Trash-talking. Alice walks away from The Boss' office and says to herself, "... Wool-covered pile of ignorant monkey spit." Headline: Lunch. Alice sits in her cubicle and thinks, "A falafel would hit the spot."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #unfulfilled, #totally worthless, #coffee maker, #breakroom, #distract

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I am unfulfilled at my job. When does that feeling go away? Dilbert: Asok, you shouldn't think you're totally worthless. Asok: Um... I didn't say I was worthless. Dilbert: I'm trying to take your mind off of the other thing.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #ugly partment, #two ugly roomates, #ugly bus, #ugly building, #ugly cubicle, #eat lunch

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I live in an ugly apartment with two ugly roommates. Each workday I take an ugly bus to an ugly building and spend the entire day in my ugly cubicle. Dilbert: At least you get to eat lunch with us. Asok: I've said too much.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #depression (mental state), #inventions, #self worth, #doubt, #microwave, #machine language, #kill me, #beep

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: You keep giving me trivial assignments that make me doubt my self-worth. Boss: Chill out. You don't hear the microwave whining all day long. Robot: He doesn't know that the machine word for "Please kill me is 'Beep.'" Microwave: Beep.

No Progress On Writing The Novel

Thank you for voting.
No Progress On Writing The Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #writing, #writer, #talent, #frustration, #writers block, #self esteem, #self deprecation, #depression, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: How's your novel coming along? Dilbert: I'm off to a slow start. All I did this week is stare at a blank screen and feel bad about my lack of talent. Dogbert: Maybe try writing something. Dilbert: I have to think that would make things worse.

The Danger Of Sitting

Thank you for voting.
The Danger Of Sitting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work, #office, #sitting, #chair, #health, #working, #sedentary, #danger

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why aren't you working in your cubicle? Wally: Sitting increases my risk of obesity, cardiometabolic disease, cancer, stress, depression, and cognitive dysfunction. Boss: I had no idea sitting was so dangerous. Wally: I know. Imagine if I tried working.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #robot, #hope, #dream, #depression, #meaning, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?

Move To Cubicles Is Complete

Thank you for voting.
Move To Cubicles Is Complete - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #office, #cubicle, #depression, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're done moving the staff from the open office plan back to cubicles. Now they will be less distracted when they focus on the crushing futility of their assignments. Boss: Good job. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be in my fabric-covered box.