Search Results for "design"
Share April 12, 2016's comic on:
Boss: Can you make that link button blue instead of burnt orange? Dilbert: Yes, if you want people to click on it, and you thrive on bad design. Boss: I have an eye for design. Dilbert: And I have an elbow for music.
Share January 13, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "We need to get our customers more involved in the product design cycle." Dilbert says, "We only have customers who are too dumb to check product reviews online." The Boss says, "Do it anyway." Customer says, "Can it wear a hat like a monkey?" Dilbert says, "For the millionth time, software can't wear clothes."
Share March 11, 2010's comic on:
Wally says, "It's good Feng Shui to stand next to you because you absorb the workflow energy." Alice says, "What?" The Boss says, "I need someone to check all of these design specs before tomorrow morning." Wally says, "Some people call it superstition, but I'm pretty sure it's a science."
Share April 01, 2010's comic on:
Tina says, "I need your honest feedback on our new website design." Asok says, "The layout looks like a psychopath's photo wall. The colors remind me of toe fungus and despair." Tina says, "I'll say, 'needs work.'" Asok says, "It feels like Satan is licking my brain!"
Share June 19, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "I hired a confusopoly consultant to help us design an extended warranty plan." Dogbert says, "Our goal is to scare people into buying insurance that doesn't cover anything." Dogbert says, "I can't tell you where the contract was designed, but be careful because it's still hot."
Share January 28, 2014's comic on:
Boss: We won the bid to build a fleet of small drones for retail package delivery. I'm not sure why they call their customers infidels, but I doubt that's important. You'll be working with their design guy, who's name is Mullah John Smith.
Share March 02, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Do you have any great ideas? Dilbert: How would I know? Boss: You could tell me your ideas and I'll judge them Dilbert: That's like asking a chipmunk to judge algebra. Boss: Are you comparing me to algebra? Dilbert: Sure, let's go with that. Boss: That makes sense because algebra is complex and useful... just like me. Dilbert: So... what do you think of this innovative circuit design? Boss: It's um... fine? Dilbert: Said the chipmunk to the engineer.
Share October 27, 2014's comic on:
Graphic Designer. Dilbert: I'll do some A-B testing with the design options you provided. Interestingly, the fact that you can't predict which design will perform best means your skill set is mostly random behavior that you package as talent. Designer: This works better if i'm the only one who knows that.
Share March 21, 2015's comic on:
Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!
Share March 23, 2015's comic on:
Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: You might think my job is to make products that are easy to use. But that wouldn't help me, so instead I design stuff that looks good in my portfolio but is impossible to use. Dilbert: This looks great, but no one will be able to see black buttons on a black case. Dogbert: Not my problem.