Search Results for "die"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2010's comic on:


Tags #chain letter, #e-mail, #die, #panic, #friends, #negotiating, #fifty, #superstitious

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Oh no. If I don't forward this e-mail to fifty friends, I'll die within a week." The Boss says, "I don't have that many friends! I need to make more friends, and fast!!!" Dilbert says, "What are you sending him now?" Wally says, "I'm upping it to sixty friends."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #buy, #product, #quote, #angry, #die, #yell

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Can you give me a quote by next week?" Coworker says, "Your demeanor tells me that you will never guy our product. You only want the quote as a point reference." Dilbert says, "Or maybe I'm giving you false hope because it's less awkward to end the meeting that way." Coworker says, "Die! Die! Die!"

Internet Wants Ceo To Die

Thank you for voting.
Internet Wants Ceo To Die - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #anger, #shame, #unpopular, #popularity, #public relations, #gawker

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #friendship, #secretaries (office), #internet & world wide web

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Why did you reject my friend request on Facebook?" Carol says, "I'm not your friend. I'm a disgruntled wage slave who hopes you die in a freak industrial accident tomorrow at 3PM." The Boss says, "That's disturbingly specific." Carol says, "Hey, look. You have a meeting at the warehouse tomorrow."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #suspicion, #kindness

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm just stopping by to say you're doing a great job, Alice. Alice: You never do that! It's a trick! Die, monster, die! Boss: I might have a credibility issue.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #actions & defenses

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dogbert is chairing the international data security standards group. Dogbert: The goal of our organizations is to make your security procedures so inconvenient that you give up hope and die from bed sores. We take pride in being independent from the companies that fund us.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: If I may correct what Dilbert just said, I'm sure it would be easy to make those changes. Dilbert: You ignorant, backstabbing son of a beach ball. Boss: Are you saying something inside your head? Dilbert: No. Die. Customer meeting

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #joking, #questioning

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are there any questions? Feel free to ask anything at all. Wally: Why do ghosts have clothes? Dilbert: If someone gives you a wedgie at the moment you die, will you have it for eternity?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #secretaries (office)

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I manually entered all of the employee data you wanted. It took the entire weekend. Boss: I probably should have told you I no longer need it. Carol: Die! Die! Die! You inconsiderate monster! Boss: Did you really enter all of the data? Carol: Maybe. Let's call it a tie.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted can explain what you need to do before the platform upgrade. Dilbert: No he can't. Ted's brain is where knowledge goes to die. He's not good at explaining things. The knowledge might be in his brain, but it's trapped there. Unfortunately, Ted's incompetence is so unbelievable that you literally don't believe me. In time, you will assume that Ted taught me well but I forgot all of it. I'm doomed before I start. Let's just declare failure and move on. Boss: That works for me. Dilbert: Partial victory.