Search Results for "dilbert date"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Notice: Too many results returned for your search. Displaying the first 1000 most relevant results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #date, #millions, #stock, #wallet, #thick, #glasses, #late

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gee, Mary, you weren't willing to date me BEFORE I made millions in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "I'm afraid you see me as just a big, talking wallet." Mary replies, "You're much more than that." Mary says, "For example, you also wear thick glasses." Dilbert says angrily, "Too little, too late."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #date-a-base, #Women, #nice, #guy, #quotes, #donahue, #sincere, #expand, #primates

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair using a computer while Dilbert watches. Dogbert says, "I'll search my Date-a-Base for women who want a nice guy and don't care about looks." Dogbert says, "All I'm getting are some quotes from guests on 'Donahue,' but they don't seem sincere." Dogbert continues, "Maybe if I expand the search to include all primates . . ." Dilbert asks, "Why did you add 'don't care about looks?'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #date, #guys, #unemployed, #new, #job, #social, #security, #Number, #social security number, #interest, #there

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman at a desk tells Dilbert, "Sorry, I don't date guys from work." Dilbert says, "I'll resign . . ." The woman says, "Sorry, I don't date unemployed guys." Dilbert says, "I . . . I'll get a new job . . . One you approve of." The woman says, "Sorry, I don't date guys with your social security number." Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "So, it turns out her unlucky number has nine digits in it . . ." Dilbert says, "But she knew my social security number, so I think there's some interest there . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 1998's comic on:


Tags #unicorn horn, #Dilbert, #date, #sign of virility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is on a dinner date. Dilbert has a unicorn horn growing from his forehead. The date's eyes are wide from shock. Dilbert says, "Lately, I've been growing a unicorn horn." Dilbert says, "In some cultures, this would be a sign of great virility." The date has left Dilbert alone at the table. Dilbert thinks, "It's time to admit that I don't know what women want."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #date, #new, #system, #evaluating, #check, #boxes, #Card, #night, #dinged, #point, #nervous, #twitch, #head, #block, #bucket

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I'm using a new system for evaluating my dates. I just check off boxes on this card throughout the night." The woman continues, "There . . . I just dinged you a point for that nervous twitch." The woman asks, "Would you say your head is more like a block or a bucket?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #date, #men and women, #dating, #twins, #telepath, #normal, #thoughts, #guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a two-headed woman. Dilbert says, "Believe it or not, this is the first time I've ever dated a two-headed telepath." The women look frightened. Dilbert says, "You might pick up a strange thought or two, but believe me, these are normal thoughts for a guy . . ." Dilbert says, "Well, maybe not that last one . . ." The woman grabs the tablecloth and looks shocked.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dilbert date, #asks lunch date, #cheryl, #full of lunch, #rejection, #next week, #turned down, #lame excuse, #office, #co worker

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hi Cheryl. would you like to have lunch with me next week? Cheryl: I..uh...already ate lunch. Im not hungry. Dilbert: Im talking about next week!! Cheryl: I don't think I can have another bite, all full.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 1989's comic on:


Tags #suspicion, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #helen, #date, #cavemen, #actors

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Helen just canceled our date." Dogbert asks, "What excuse this time?" Dilbert sits on the hassock with Dogbert and answers, "Apparently she discovered tiny frozen cavemen in her ice cube trays and she's trying to revive them for science." Dogbert asks, "Are you the least bit suspicious of that story?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . How do I know they aren't just pretending to be cavemen?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #biblical events, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #eve, #date, #love, #woman, #played

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And women have always played hard to get . . ." The caption says, "Dilbert and Eve." Dilbert and Eve stand behind a bush. Dilbert asks, "Then how about a date next year?" Eve replies, "I'd love to, but I don't have a thing to wear." Both of them are naked.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #blind, #reference, #smart, #attracted, #intelligent, #thoughts, #woman, #date

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dilbert says, "I've got a blind date with the lady who works at the library reference desk." Dogbert asks, "What if she's ugly?" Dilbert replies, "Looks aren't important. She sounded very smart over the phone, and I'm attracted to intelligent women." Dogbert says, "Oh . . . right." Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Should I talk, or will you be reading my thoughts directly?"