Search Results for "dilbert dating"
Share July 01, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: I think I found a woman who likes me, dogcart. Dogbert: No way! Dilbert: Its Phil, the prince of insufficient light! PHIL: Heck just froze over. Dilbert: This is NOT my fault! PHIL: tell them.
Share December 31, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: I got 9,752 responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile. All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job. Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair... height... job! Triple threat!
Share August 21, 2001's comic on:
Two women are at the gym. The dark haired says to the light haired, "I'm tired of dating attractive men who are dumb and self-centered." The dark haired continues, "Maybe I can find an intelligent homely guy and clean him up." The light haired exclaims, "No!!!" Dilbert approaches the women and asks, "Do you mind if I work in a set with those five-pounders?" The dark haired looks at Dilbert from the corner of her eye and smiles. The light haired screams, "Don't do it, Amber!"
Share January 05, 2015's comic on:
Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.
Share July 19, 2011's comic on:
Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Dilbert: None. Woman: The world has judged you. Dilbert: It's as if I don't exist! Dogbert: For a ghost, you do a good job of blocking the TV.
Share March 09, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: I've got two good prospects on this dating site. One is addicted to Facebook and the other is addicted to prescription pain meds. Dogbert: Sort of a tie. Dilbert: But only one of them is likely to make eye contact.
Share April 17, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors . Dilbert is holding an ice cream cone. Dilbert says, "I can remember when these were only fifteen cents." Dilbert continues, "But I'm really dating myself now . . ." Dogbert says, "Well, it's not as if anybody else would date you."
Share June 16, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Did you ever think how lucky people are that their eyes are located on their heads?" Dogbert continues, "Suppose your eyes were on your ankles; you wouldn't be able to drive a car." Dilbert leaves. Dogbert continues, "Without cars, dating would be impossible. No dating, then no marriage. Soon the species would be extinct."
Share October 15, 1994's comic on:
Wally: I've given up on the whole dating scene. I've decided to reproduce by asexual cell division. Dilbert: I didn't realize that's an option. Wally: you never know until you try. Dilbert: I think I'll steer clear of here for a while. Wally: divide! divide!
Share March 30, 1995's comic on:
Liz sits at her computer and Dilbert looks over her shoulder. Liz says, "I built a spreadsheet to compare our relative qualities. I'm afraid I'm twenty percent too good for you. We must stop dating." Dilbert points at the screen and says, "NO! Look, Liz, you have the wrong formula in this column! That must mean I have higher math skills than you! We're almost even!" After Dilbert leaves, Liz sits at her computer and Dogbert sits on her printer. Dogbert says to Liz, "You left that error in there intentionally." Liz answers, "My last batch of flowers is wilting."