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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2000's comic on:


Tags #booby trap cucbilce, #borrow guest chair, #in slices cubicle, #dilbert snagged, #upside down, #hanging, #rope, #innocent, #trapped

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Alice returns to her cubicle to find Dilbert hanging upside-down in the trap she set. Dilbert asks Alice, "Alice, did you booby-trap your cubicle?" Alice answers, "The question is, why are you in my cubicle?" Dilbert replies, "What if I promise to never again borrow your guest chair?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hugger, #first date, #watch snagged, #bra strap

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Dilbert meets his date. His date puts out her arms and says, "Hi, Dilbert! Hi, Dogbert!" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh!" Dilbert's date goes in for a hug. Dilbert thinks, "She's a hugger on the first date. I never know where my arms should go." Dilbert hugs his date, his arms going down her shirt and lifting it up to her head. You can see her bra and Dilbert says, "I hope this doesn't seem awkward, but my watch is snagged on your bra strap."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #hugged your date, #snagged in blouse, #hilarious, #free your arm, #ripped top off, #engineer, #diamond cutter, #engineering

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Dilbert is at home after his date. Dogbert says, "I loved it when you hugged your date and your arm got snagged on her blouse." Dilbert looks angry. Dogbert waves his arms in the air and says, "And it was hilarious when you tried to free your arm and accidently ripped her top off." Dogbert says, "But the best part was when you yelled, 'I'm an engineer, not a diamond cutter, dang it!'" Dilbert says, "Shut up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #frustration, #like an idiot, #simple solution, #stumping dilbert, #gladly explin, #look like an idiot

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Man says, "There is a very simple solution to the problem that is stumping Dilbert." Man says, "I will gladly explain it to him after this meeting." Dilbert says, "You're probably wrong, and yet you still made me look like an idiot." Man says, "I win!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #dating, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #Dilbert, #twitter, #world has judged, #dont exist, #ghost, #blocking tv, #relationships

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Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Dilbert: None. Woman: The world has judged you. Dilbert: It's as if I don't exist! Dogbert: For a ghost, you do a good job of blocking the TV.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #astronomy, #billions of planets, #scientists, #version of dilbert, #earth like, #many universes

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Computer: Scientists say there might be billions of planets like Earth. And we might be one of many universes. Dilbert: I wonder if there's a version of me out there who loves his job. Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a should massage? Dilbert: This guy! Meanwhile, on XPKQ-75

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #shot from cannon, #building, #crash window, #lands on desk, #Dilbert, #travel budget cuts, #primitive, #begs for busfare

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Boom! CRASH! I hear your company is trimming travel budgets. Dilbert: Can anyone lend me bus fare to get home?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #converstaion, #Dilbert, #faking through, #velcro works, #block oxygen, #brain

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Ted: "He's explaining something that I already understand. I've got to stop him." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." Ted: "I'll try vigorous nodding and agreeing, plus closed body language." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." "Right right right." Dilbert: "And have I ever told you how 'velcro' works?" TED: "Maybe if I block the oxygen to my brain..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dilbert date, #asks lunch date, #cheryl, #full of lunch, #rejection, #next week, #turned down, #lame excuse, #office, #co worker

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Dilbert: Hi Cheryl. would you like to have lunch with me next week? Cheryl: I..uh...already ate lunch. Im not hungry. Dilbert: Im talking about next week!! Cheryl: I don't think I can have another bite, all full.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #crash test dummies, #dilbert gets political, #dinner party, #gourmet cooking

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dilbert gets political Dilbert: Id love to have you and whats her face come to my little dinner party. Dilbert: I like to do a little gourmet cooking...when I'm not raising money to battle unpopular diseases. Carol: Is it just me or are the other guest crash dummies? Dilbert: Its just you.