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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #illness, #marketing people, #brain heals, #drank sludge, #brain worm, #dead in a week

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Asok: Hi-ho, marketing people! I've been transferred into your department until mky brain heals. I drank some industrial sludge. But don't worry - I'll be able to shake it off in a few days. A little pollution can't hurt me. I grew up in India. This brain worm will be dead in a week, tops.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #illness, #industrial sludge, #drank, #has tail, #lower iq points, #bright future, #quality assurance, #marketing, #zip line guide

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Dilbert: He's been like this since our CEO made him drink a glass of our industrial sludge at a press conference. It looped a few points off his I.Q., but he's still has a bright future in quality assurance or maybe marketing. And with his new tail he'd be an awesome zip line guide.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #ceo needs underling, #drink industrial sludge, #risk of brain worms, #drink himself

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Boss: Our CEO needs an underling to drink our industrial sludge at a press conference to prove it's safe. Asok: Um... is there some reason he doesn't do it himself? Boss: Yes, but I forget the details. It was something about the risk of brain worms.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2011's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #public speaking, #spit take, #industrial sludge, #intern will drink

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CEO: I will prove our industrial sludge is safe by forcing an intern to drink a glass of it. Voice: That's stupid. We want to see you drink it yourself. CEO: See if you can reach that guy in the second row with a spit take.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #me from future, #next holiday party, #never drank agina, #predicting future

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Dilbert introduces the future Dilbert to Alice: "Alice, this is me from the future." Alice says: "Hi." The future Dilbert tells Dilbert: "At the next holiday party, she's all over you." Dilbert asks the future Dilbert as they are walking away: "Is that true?" The future Dilbert answers: "No, but after today she never drank again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #confusion, #drank sewage, #happiness, #prototype, #untreated sewage, #water purification

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Dilbert: Let me tell you what kind of day I had at work. There was some confusion about my water purification prototype, and our CEO drank eight ounces of untreated sewage. Dogbert: So... best day ever? Dilbert: It'll be hard to top.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #coproaret social responsibilty, #cut salary, #poor people, #extra money, #hose stock holders, #hurt stock options, #pollute less, #bucket, #river, #sludge out, #coffee, #zesty

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Tina says to The Boss, "We need to show more corporate responsibility." The Boss replies, "Okay, I'll cut your salary and give the extra money to poor people." Tina says, "I was hoping we could hose the stockholders, not me." The Boss responds, "That would hurt my stock options." He pauses and then asks, "What if we pollute less?" Tina exclaims, "Yes, yes! That's what I'm talking about. We could pollute less!" The Boss says, "Okay, take a bucket to the river and see how much of our sludge you can get out." Tina asks, "Where would I put it?" Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert asks, "Is it just me or has the coffee improved?" Wally exclaims, "Zesty!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #automobile travel, #automobiles (cars), #weather, #zero degrees, #icy roads, #coffee, #traffic, #guradrail, #3 hours late

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Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #another war, #elbonia, #france, #french embassy, #french stopped bomb, #goading, #nothing worth destroying, #scarp metal

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Dilbert: "...The French stopped bombing Elbonia when they realized there was nothing worth destroying." "Ironically, the GNP of Elbonia tripled by selling the bomb fragments for scrap. When I left they were trying to goad France into another war." "French Embassy" Elbonian: "You call this swill champagne?? If we drank this we'd have to eat snails to get the taste out of our mouths too!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2012's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #waterworks, #invented filter, #raw sewage, #pure drinking water, #clean water, #upper container, #drank contaminated water

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Dilbert: I invented a filter that can turn raw sewage into pure drinking water in seconds. CEO: Glug glug glug. Dilbert: The clean water ends up here in the upper container.