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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #company dress code, #dress like a woman, #high heels, #panty hose, #little ornaments, #male viwers

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Alice is dressed in a shirt, tie and pants. Alice says to Dilbert and Wally, "I'm protesting the company's dress code. I refuse to dress like a woman." Alice clenches her fist and continues forcefully, "High heels and pantyhose are designed to make women look like helpless little ornaments for the pleasure of male viewers!" Wally says, "I've never had pleasure viewing you. I swear." Alice says, "Thank you for your support."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #actually a woman, #claim, #crying game, #dress code, #dress like a man, #the boss

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Alice stands in front of the Boss's desk dressed in a shirt, tie and pants. She says to the Boss, "I'm dressing like a man to protest the company's dress code." The Boss asks, "So, what you're saying is that you're actually a woman. Is that your claim?" Alice says, "That's not exactly the point." The Boss says, "I saw 'The Crying Game.' Don't do anything that would make me heave."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #foreign, #language, #children, #dress, #vikings, #hollering

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Opera should be banned from television." Dogbert continues, "It must be obscene, or they wouldn't have to sing it in a foreign language." Dogbert continues, "And we can't let children think it's okay to dress like Vikings and go around hollering."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #wake up, #huh, #dream, #dumpy, #engineer, #playboy, #millionaire, #movie, #star, #love, #night, #janitor, #dress

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The janitor says to Dilbert, who has fallen asleep on his desk, "Hey, mister, wake up!" Dilbert picks his head up and says, "Huh?" The janitor says, "It was all a dream! You're not a dumpy engineer -- you're really a playboy millionaire movie star!!" Dilbert says, "I . . . I am??" The janitor says as he walks away, "I love being the night janitor." Dilbert asks, "Then why do I dress like this?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1992's comic on:


Tags #violence, #Dilbert, #Wally, #jester, #costume, #the boss, #task force, #humor, #creativity

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Wally enters wearing a court jester costume. Dilbert asks, "What's the story with the costume, Wally?" Wally replies, "The Boss put me on a special task force to see if humor increases creativity. I have to dress like this for a month." Dilbert asks, "Are you feeling more creative?" Wally replies, "Yeah. I've already thought of six hundred ways to kill him,"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #macro economics, #diagram, #flood victim, #mechanical pencil, #erase

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Professor: Lets start with a brief refresher in macro economics. This diagram explains why Im and expert in money yet I dress like a flood victim. You'll have no trouble with the rest of the course unless your mechanical pencil jammed...lets erase....

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #socially defective, #unique preferences, #arguments, #dating, #girl, #dilbert defending himself, #relationships

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Dilbert and woman walking wearing coats. Woman says, "I don't understand why you like the things you like." Woman continues, "I'm forced to conclude that you're socially defective." Woman and Dilbert walking over cobblestone bridge. Dilbert says, "Isn't it normal for people to have unique preferences?" Woman responds, "Do you have to argue with EVERYTHING I say?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #co worker, #perfume is killing, #gas mask, #humor, #woman, #stank like hog, #cluless, #waiting compliments

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Dilbert hands Dogbert a gas mask and says, "Dogbert, your mission is to tell my co-worker that her perfume is killing us. Wear this gas mask." As Dilbert puts the mask on Dogbert, he says, "Use humor to ease the tension." Dogbert says, "Good idea." Wearing the mask, Dogbert stands in the woman's cubicle and says, "Did you hear the joke about the woman who stank like a hog rendering plant?" The woman says, "Three times today . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dress, #flattery, #Dilbert, #dish, #cloth, #ordinary, #fashionable, #dropped, #jello, #shoes, #wipe, #up, #compliment, #gracefully

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert tells the woman, "I like your dress." He thinks, "Women love flattery." Dilbert says, "It reminds me of my favorite dish cloth." He thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Wrong thing to say." Dilbert says, "Of course, I'm not talking about an ORDINARY dish cloth." Dilbert thinks, "Dig, dig . . ." Dilbert continues, "I'm talking about a truly fashionable dish cloth here . . . In fact, if I dropped Jello on my shoes I'd leave it there all day rather than use your dress to wipe it up." The woman overturns the table, wraps the tablecloth around Dilbert's head and leaves. Dilbert lies on the floor and says, "Some women just don't know how to accept a compliment gracefully."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dating beautiful woman, #Advice, #garbageman, #exciting, #mysterious, #delightful, #like fresh garbage, #compost

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Dilbert is handing his trash to The Garbageman. Dilbert says, "I'm dating a beautiful woman. Do you have any advice?" The Garbageman stuffs the trash into the can and responds, "A beautiful woman is like a heap of fresh garbag: exciting, mysterious, and delightful." Dilbert asks, "Do you have any advice that doesn't compare my girlfriend to garbage?" The Garbageman replies, "How about compost?"