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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2002's comic on:


Tags #unemployed, #drive electric car, #abs, #not romantic, #turn on, #socialize, #mingle, #party, #drinks

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Dilbert approaches a woman at a party and says, "I'm unemployed and I drive an electric car." Dilbert continues, "These are my abs. I talk too much about myself and I'm not romantic." Dilbert continues, "I realize it's a long shot but does any of that turn you on?"

Electric Car Business

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Electric Car Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #electric car, #scam

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Boss: We're getting into the electric car business. Dilbert: Why? Boss: Because it sounds impressive and it will take years for anyone to figure out we did it wrong. We'll have new jobs by then. Dilbert: Did you just turn my job into a criminal conspiracy?

Electric Car Project

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Electric Car Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #manager, #labor, #time, #time management, #obliviousness

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Boss: Welcome to the first meeting of our project to design an electric car. We've never tried to build an electric car, but how hard could it be? Dilbert: It's very hard. Boss: It doesn't feel that way. My part is mostly talk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2000's comic on:


Tags #insulted, #same level, #attractness, #hot sexy car, #electric car

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Ming says to Dilbert, "Frankly, I'm insulted that you asked me out." Ming continues, "It means you think we're about the same level of attractiveness." Ming then says to Dilbert, "You'd better have one heckuva sexy car." Dilbert replies, "It's electric."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #blinding flashes, #sightless, #didn't drive car, #can't do that

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Your blinding flashes of the obvius made me sightless for three days. "I hope you didn't drive your car. You're not supoosed to do that when you're blind." "GAAA!!!" "I'm upsetting you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1989's comic on:


Tags #car, #dating, #eyes, #lucky

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Did you ever think how lucky people are that their eyes are located on their heads?" Dogbert continues, "Suppose your eyes were on your ankles; you wouldn't be able to drive a car." Dilbert leaves. Dogbert continues, "Without cars, dating would be impossible. No dating, then no marriage. Soon the species would be extinct."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2008's comic on:


Tags #monitor actions, #cameras, #strapped to head, #non work related, #attach sensors, #track thoughts, #engineers, #lab assistant

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Catbert says, "We monitor all of your actions, but we suspect you are still doing non-work-related thinking." Catbert says, "My lab assistant Trixie will attach sensors to your head and track all of your thoughts." The computer screen says, "Mmm... Trixie, wear this while you wash my electric car." Trixie thinks, "Engineers."

Monday

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Monday  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #thought, #cognition, #technology, #invention, #computer, #intelligence

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Dilbert: I invented a neural interface for computers. Boss: Is that so users can control computers with their thoughts? Dilbert: No, the opposite. Your way would be like a squirrel trying to drive a car.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2003's comic on:


Tags #investigative reporter, #garbage dumps, #wasteful car, #tires, #park, #boss, #wasteful

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Investigative Reporter. A reporter and cameraman follow The Boss out of the building. The reporter says, "Explain why your company dumps garbage in the park." The Boss climbs into his giant car. The reporter continues, "And why do you drive such a huge, wasteful vehicle?" The Boss approaches Asok and says, "I need you to scrape something off my tires and take it to the park."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #automobile driving, #company car, #crazy, #data center, #directions, #gadgets, #gps directions, #gps navigation system

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Boss: Take a company car and meet a customer at our data center on Montgomery and Pine. Dilbert: I can't drive to an unfamiliar place with Alice. She'll spend the entire trip arguing with the GPS navigation system. Boss: No one does that. Dilbert: Allow me to demonstrate. My phone says we should take this route. Alice: What?! Is it crazy? We are not taking 880! Change your mind! Change your mind! Change your mind! Dilbert: It gets worse. Alice: If you listen to this liar, I will end you.