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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The caption reads: "Based on a true story." Carol sits in front of a pile of papers on her desk and says, "I'm drowning in work." She continues, "You have to do something." The Boss stands in front of her desk and says, "I could build a partition right here." Carol holds out her arms and says, "How will a partition help?" The Boss replies, "Carol, you shouldn't be afraid to try new things." He continues, "If it doesn't work, we'll try something else." Workment put up a partition in front of Carol's desk, which blocks her view of the Boss' door. Carol calls out over the partition, "Are you over there?" The Boss stands in the door to his office and thinks, "It works!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"How is work Dilbert?" "Well, mom..." "I'm like a fly stuck in a thick tar of despair." "Incompetence hangs in the air like the cold stench of death." "I'm drowning, and monkeys dressed as lifeguards are throwing me anvils." "My job has convinced me that life is a stale joke with no punch line." "I long for the comfort of the grave." "Next time just say 'it's fine.'" "I enjoy our talks." "It's fine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Carol, the new manager hasn't hired an admin. so I said he could share you."<Br>"What?!!" "I'm drowning in work, and you want to double my load???!!!" "It's no big deal. Just prioritize your work." "And I need you to fax this."<Br>"No can do."<Br>"My top priority is getting the new guy all set up." "Hmmm... I guess that's fair. I'll send him over." "I can't order your business cards, I need to do a huge faxing project!"<Br>"Hee hee! Marmaduke is sitting on something again!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #honest assessment, #leadership, #stabbed, #angry clown, #drwoning, #septic tank, #heard of honesty

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Boss: I want you to give me an honest assessment of my leadership. THIRTY MINUTES LATER Dilbert: ...like being stabbed by an angry clown while drowning in a septic tank. Boss: Have you heard of honesty? It's terrible.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #team, #teamwork, #team building, #death, #cover-up, #denial, #human resources, #drowning, #rafting

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Boss: As you know, our team-building event did not go smoothly. In my defense, I had no way of knowing a class 6 whitewater adventure would be so bumpy. It took me by surprise when Ted fell in. But I'm proud that we came together as a team and agreed to not look for him. It would have ruined our timing for lunch. Anyway, I'm sure Ted swam to safety. Dilbert: Ted doesn't know how to swim. Boss: All in favor of pretending Ted didn't attend the event? Catbert: They didn't have life vests? Boss: You're thinking of the deluxe package.