Search Results for "dumb as you look"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2008's comic on:


Tags #jury selection, #big eyebrows, #dumb as you look, #manipulate, #love, #relationships

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Jury selection Dogbert says, "You with the big eyebrows, are you as dumb as you look?" A man says, "I'm not sure. I don't remember what I look like." Dogbert says, "Okay, you're in. And on an unrelated noted, I'm the only person who ever loved you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #secrets, #Men, #dumb, #model, #hint, #boyfriend, #killer, #saturday, #woman, #dating

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The strip is titled, "The secrets of men. A guide for women." The caption says, "Women wonder why men say dumb things to start conversations." Dilbert asks a woman, "Are you a model?" The caption says, "Why can't men take a hint?" The woman replies, "No, but my boyfriend is a killer." The caption says, "Why are men so thick?" Dilbert asks, "Are you free Saturday?" The caption says, "Why are excuses useless?" The woman replies, "I have to wash my goldfish." Dilbert asks, "How about Sunday?" The caption says, "Why don't men understand the word no?" The woman says, "No no no no no no . . ." Dilbert asks, "What are you trying to say?" The caption says, "Men know why they act like that:" Dilbert and the woman look at each other. The caption says, ". . . Sometimes it works." Dilbert and the woman walk into the sunset holding hands.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1998's comic on:


Tags #industrial espionage program, #secret reports, #plan, #fire dumb people, #perfect cover

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Dilbert and Alice are talking in the hall over a cup of coffee. Bob walks up holding a box of his office supplies and says, "I've been chosen for the industrial espionage program." Bob gets an evil look on his face and says, "The plan is that I quit this job and go work for our competitor. Every week I'll send back secret reports." Alice says, "Bob, this is how we fire dumb people." Bob turns to go and says, "That's why it's the perfect cover."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 1999's comic on:


Tags #big dumb guy, #disagree, #lazy, #habitual liar, #excellent track record, #excellent work

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The Boss brings a Big Dumb Guy to Alice's desk. He says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with this big dumb guy." The Boss continues, "He doesn't know he's dumb. So he'll tell people you're dumb if you ever disagree." The Boss: "He's also lazy and a habitual liar." Alice shouts, "Then why do you let him work here?!" The Boss explains, "He has an excellent track record. No one knows why." In front of the Boss and Alice, the Big Dumb Guy bends over and picks up the document that Alice was working on from her desk. Big Dumb Guy shows Alice's document to the Boss. Big Dumb Guy says, "Look what I just did." The Boss responds, "Excellent work." Alice is flabbergasted. The Boss tries to console Alice, who is furious, with "Remember Alice, you're never too old to learn."

Ted Is Not That Dumb

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Ted Is Not That Dumb - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #joke, #mean, #bully, #insult, #death, #idiot, #idiocy, #stupid, #dumb, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #medical

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Boss: You're not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. Dilbert: It was a joke. Ted isn't so dumb that he would do it. Ask him if he's that dumb. Boss: Don't speak ill of the dead.

Too Dumb To Understand

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Too Dumb To Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #perspective, #dumb, #social media, #comment, #technology

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Boss: I can't believe how stupid this person is. Dilbert: How do you rule out the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand his point? Take your time. I can wait. Boss: For starters, he disagrees with me.

Too Dumb To Understand

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Too Dumb To Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #insult, #intelligence, #ego

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Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: That's because you're too dumb to understand it. My idea would look brilliant if you were sixty percent smarter. Man: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: That's consistent with my hypothesis.

Asok Is A Narcissist Too

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Asok Is A Narcissist Too - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #situation, #too dumb, #narcissist, #Right, #wrong

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Ted: Dilbert is a total narcissist, He refuses to admit when he'swrong. Asok: How would the situation look any different to you if he's actually right most of the time and you're too dumb to know it? Ted: I don't understand your point. Asok: According to your that makes me a narcissist.

Dumb Question

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Dumb Question - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2018's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #questioning, #dumb question, #stupidity, #jargon, #language, #lingo

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Boss: I'm not an engineer, so this might be a dumb question. But why can't we 3-D print a blockchain and HTML it into a bitcoin? Dilbert: Alice can answer that. Alice: I quit.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #executives, #interviews, #ceo's interview series, #company priftable, #credit, #overpaid and useless, #dumb employees, #highest bidder, #blackmail, #interview

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Dogbert says, "I don't like people." Dogbert says, "What makes your company so profitable?" CEO says, "I give all of the credit to our fine employees." Dogbert says, "Is that another way of saying you're overpaid and useless?" CEO says, "Um... no. I'm their leader. I set the direction." Dogbert says, "Because the employees are too dumb to set their own direction?" CEO says, "No! They're smart!" Dogbert says, "But not as smart as you?" CEO says, "Who's going to see this?" Dogbert says, "No one, assuming you're the highest bidder." Dogbert's CEO Interview Series