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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #public speaking, #slides tell a story, #status of project, #clown, #broken watch, #eagle, #technology, #old shoe, #storm drain, #pie chart, #dcitionary, #images, #offcie, #cubicle

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Boss: Experts say your slides should tell a story in pictures. Start with an image that captures the status of your project. Dilbert: How about this image of a clown with a broken watch? Boss: I was thinking eagle. Dilbert: Fine. Eagle. Boss: Now find an image that shows our technology strategy. Dilbert: How about this image of an old show in a storm drain? Boss: I was thinking pie chart. Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Now for the words. Dilbert: How about this image of a dictionary?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert and Dogbert crouch behind a bush and look through binoculars. Dogbert says, "Whoa! Looks like we got a pippin hawk, a prickly beak mud swallow, and a bald eagle." Dilbert says, "Robin." Dilbert asks, "How is it that you have spotted 1,700 exotic birds this morning, and all I have seen is one robin?" Dogbert points and says, "Look! A monkey-faced disco hawk!!" Dilbert asks, "Where?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert asks the Boss, "Who needs to sign my business case to buy a web server?" The Boss says, "Hmm . . . This crosses all departments. I fear it. Get the approval of every director, every VP, every EVP, plus Griffin." As Dilbert walks away he asks, "Do you mean Ted Griffin in finance or the mythical griffin beast that's half eagle, half lion?" The Boss answers, "Whichever is harder."

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The Boss says to Ratbert, "My inspirational posters aren't working. I need to do some animal research, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Ready!!" The Boss holds up the poster and asks, "In this beautiful scene we see a mighty eagle swooping down to capture its prey. What is your reaction?" Ratbert shakes in fear. The Boss thinks, "I think it's working." Ratbert screams, "Run for it, mom!!!"

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Alice is sitting down at lunch, she has a sandwich in her hands. A co-worker says to Alice: "Hey Alice, what are you eating? Let me have a sniff." Co-worker thrusts herself like an eagle upon Alice's sandwich to sniff it: "Sniff!". Alice is scared. Alice looks at her sandwich with surprise and says: "My letucce is gone!" Co-worker walks away chewing.

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The Boss approaches Wally and says, "I have an unimportant project, so I thought of you." The Boss continues, "Find a bunch of inspirational quotes that we can put on the lobby walls." Wally types, "If being an eagle is such a good idea, why are there so few of them?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Wally sits in a metting between Dilbert and Alice. Wally thinks, "I'll have to be proactive to escape this boring meeting." Wally takes a sip from his coffee and thinks, "I'll fake my own death and hope someone drags me into the hallway." Wally says, "Ack!! My coffee is poisoned!" Wally lies on the ground feet in the air. Dilbert says, "Maybe we should drag him into the hallway." Alice says, "No." Alice says, "Let's wait for him to stiffen. Then he'll be easier to drag." Ted says, "We should pose him before he stiffens." Dilbert says, "Something obscene?" Alice says, "Or spread eagle, so he won't fit in a casket." Wally lies on the grouns arms and legs wide with his coffe cup pearched on his face and thinks, "It never pays to be the proactive one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, the status report that you e-mailed me is blank." "That;s because eagles can't type." "What?" "The motivational poster in the break says I should be like an eagle." "The point of that poster is that your spirit should soar like an eagle while you continue to do mundane work." "Wouldn't I die if my spirit left my body to go soar?" "You're confusing your spirit with your soul." "While your spirit is soaring, your sould should remain, trapped in your body, slowly decaying while you create your status report." "Would it change anything if I got a poster that says "you want it when?!!""