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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, can you show me how to make changes to the skills database?" "I can't risk being known as the guy who knows how to edit the database." "Because?" "I barely have time to avoid the work I already have."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #mock interview, #weasel, #edit trainer, #costume, #human costume

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Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure. Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" Weasel: What gave it away? Dogbert: "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #made up words, #good laugh, #words, #incentement, #robustify, #flexitate, #leadershipping, #underboard, #moralify

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The Boss: Tina, I need you to edit this before I send it out. Sure. I could use a good laugh. Let's start with the words that aren't words." Incentiment...robustify...flexitate...and leadershipping." "I'll take those out and see what's left." "'If you're not onboard with quality excellence, you're underboard.'" "WA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!" "Why do I even bother trying to moralify these people."

Alice Helps Asok With Slides

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Alice Helps Asok With Slides  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint, #slide, #Advice, #speech

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Asok: Can you help me edit my slides for my CEO presentation? I have 75 slides and ten minutes to present. Alice: Get rid of 74 of them. Asok: I'll ask someone else.

500 Pages Would Be Rubbish

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500 Pages Would Be Rubbish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #writing, #criticism, #technical writer, #warning, #caution, #safety

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Boss: You need to edit the product warning from seven hundred pages down to one. Tina: Oh, that's rich. I'ma professional technical writer, and you're telling me how to write? Boss: Can you cut it down to 500 pages? Tina: Sure, if you want it to be total rubbish.

Elbonian Virus Infects Mission Statement

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Elbonian Virus Infects Mission Statement  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virus, #hack, #infection, #computer, #spelling, #grammar, #edit, #improvement

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Dilbert: The Elbonian virus scrambled our mission statement into nonsense. Alice: No, that's our actual mission statement. Dilbert: Why does it look so different? Alice: The virus fixed the grammar and punctuation.