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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #company policy, #least expensive flight, #17 connecting flights, #elbonain prison, #dressed as a ballerina, #desecrate monument

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"Per company policy, I got you the least expensive flight available." "Your trip will have 17 connecting flights and you're required to spend at least one night 'in an Elbonian prison, dressed as a ballerina.'" "How much would I have to desecrate a national monument to get one night in jail?"

Dilbert And The Prison Gang

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Dilbert And The Prison Gang - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #prison, #lawyer, #attorney, #Advice, #plead, #trial, #crime, #murder, #technicality, #guilt, #legal

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Dogbert: Your brain stimulator invention turned you into a murderer. I will argue that you can't get a fail trial by jury of your peers because all of the people like you are already in jail for doing their own stupid stuff. And I signed you up for a prison gang. All you need to do is skin a snitch.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #despair, #office workers, #self respect, #prison, #goals, #slavery, #self inflicted, #angry, #weak

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Wally: Self-respect is like a prison for the soul. Goals are a form of self-inflicted slavery. Boss: Sorry I'm late. Wally: That which does not kill us makes us angry and weak.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #apps, #fantasy, #mental prison, #escaping, #running a start up

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Wally: I'm escaping the mental prison of this job by creating apps in my mind and fantasizing about running a start-up. Gaaa!!! The start-up is too much work! The stress is killing me! Take me back to my prison! I'm back. Did I say anything embarrassing? Dilbert: It's all relative.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #doctor, #doctor fishlips, #Dilbert, #police, #bold, #escape, #prison, #institutions

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Doctor Fishlips: Hello, Dilbert, this is Doctor Fishlips. I was wondering if you could come back for some X-rays. Dilbert: X-rays? Is that standard procedure a week after an appendectomy? Doctor Fishlips: A patient from the prison is missing... I'm told this isn't the first time, "Tiny Tom," has tried a bold escape,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #pillow, #servants, #dog, #hours, #Dilbert, #prison

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Dogbert sits on a pillow thinking, "When I conquer the earth . . . Will it be more efficient to put all humans in prison . . ." Dogbert continues thinking, ". . . Or train them as domestic servants for dogs?" Dilbert watches Dogbert from the doorway and thinks, "It's amazing how dogs can sit for hours thinking absolutely nothing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #celebrates, #victory, #court, #six, #prison cell, #Dogbert, #freedom, #individuality, #prison system, #cubical

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The caption says, "Dilbert celebrates his victory in court." Dilbert picks Dogbert up and yells, "Yes!!" Dogbert says, "Put me down." Dilbert spreads his arms and yells, "Ha ha! I'm free! No more six-by-six prison cell!" Dilbert sits in his cubicle at work thinking, "Aah . . . It feels so good to have my freedom and individuality back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #big job, #downsizing, #hired dogbert construction, #lease to state, #new carpet, #prison cells, #empty cubicles

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "We've got a lot of empty cubicles because of downsizing." The Boss points to Dogbert, who is wearing a hard hat and holding some plans, and says, "I hired the Dogbert Construction Company to convert part of the office into prison cells which we'll lease to the state." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Sounds like a big job." Dogbert responds, "Nah. A little paint, new carpet and we're there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1989's comic on:


Tags #letter, #phone call, #prison, #postage

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The telephone rings. Dilbert picks up the phone and says, "Hello." The voice on the other end says, "This is the governor . . ." The governor says, "Do you remember that snotty letter you wrote about prison overcrowding? We thought YOU might want to look after one of our guys for thiry or forty years." The doorbell rings. A large man in a prison uniform says, "Hi. I'm Bob. My friends would call me 'Strangler' if they were alive." Bob carries a suitcase into the house and asks, "So, where do you keep the blunt objects? Sure is crowded in here." Dilbert clenches his fist and says, "Ooh! I am so tempted to fire off another letter over this!!" Dogbert says, "Yeah! 'Postage due' this time!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 1996's comic on:


Tags #association, #generous controbution, #get elected, #prison, #cover tracks, #wrecks chances, #briber of month

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A man hands a briefcase to Dogbert and says, "I'm from the Association For Products That Are Bad For You. Here's a generous contribution to your campaign." Dogbert opens the briefcase and says, "This is so cool! I'll use your money to get elected, then I'll put your entire industry in prison to cover my tracks!" The man drives his car and thinks, "This probably wrecks my chances of being named Briber of the Month."