Search Results for "elbonian prison wall"
Share January 02, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert, Topper and Wally are sitting at a table. Dilbert, wiggling his fingers, says, "I'm getting a mouse cramp." Topper says to Dilbert and Wally, "I spent seven years chained upside down to an Elbonian prison wall." Topper says to Dilbert and Wally, "At the risk of sounding too competitive, I believe I'm winning this conversation."
Share August 30, 2005's comic on:
"Per company policy, I got you the least expensive flight available." "Your trip will have 17 connecting flights and you're required to spend at least one night 'in an Elbonian prison, dressed as a ballerina.'" "How much would I have to desecrate a national monument to get one night in jail?"
Share February 19, 2000's comic on:
Asok the intern is at Wally's cubicle. He tells Wally: "I created a prison Morse code so we can communicate during the day." Asok continues: "Tap your secret messages on the cubicle wall." Wally begins to tap a message to Asok. Asok decodes the message: "I S E N T Y O U E M A I L."
Share September 11, 2013's comic on:
NSA Agent: Maybe a few days in solitary will make you tell us how you stole the government's data. Dilbert: Is this the cell with the hidden tunnel? NSA Agent: The what? Dilbert: I'll be at the Elbonian embassy.
Share August 22, 2015's comic on:
Dogbert: Your brain stimulator invention turned you into a murderer. I will argue that you can't get a fail trial by jury of your peers because all of the people like you are already in jail for doing their own stupid stuff. And I signed you up for a prison gang. All you need to do is skin a snitch.
Share January 29, 2011's comic on:
Carol says, "Elbonian leftists kidnapped Asok. They have ransom demands." Carol says, "They want a three-pack of tube socks, a carton of milk, and six yams." The Boss says, "Maybe you could buy that stuff on your way home." Carol says, "You're making my life a nightmare! Just keep him!"
Share January 31, 2011's comic on:
Asok says, "I thought my Elbonian kidnappers would hold me forever because you refused to pay the ransom." Asok says, "Then the Stockholm effect kicked in. I started identifying with my captors and beating myself." The Boss says, "And they let you go?" Asok says, "Apparently it looked contagious."
Share October 22, 2011's comic on:
CEO: I need you to bribe an Elbonian minister of commerce and leave no evidence that connects the crime to our company. Dogbert: The only way to do that is to bribe him and kill him at the same time. CEO: I did not think this through. Dogbert: And obviously I'll need to do you first.
Share December 10, 2011's comic on:
Wally: Self-respect is like a prison for the soul. Goals are a form of self-inflicted slavery. Boss: Sorry I'm late. Wally: That which does not kill us makes us angry and weak.
Share December 14, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: We have a safety problem at our Elbonian factory. We're getting reports of hysterical blindness. They don't what's causing it. Elbonian: I can't see!