Search Results for "end careers"
Share April 30, 1994's comic on:
"If we know our senior executive is making a bad decision, shouldn't we tell her?" "Hmm, yes. Let's end our careers by challenging a decision that won't change. That's a great idea." "I'm getting mixed signals here." "And let's pull our neckties until it hurts!"
Share February 12, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert says, "It might look as if I'm in a dead-end job, but I'm developing an app in my spare time." Woman says, "Here's a lottery ticket. I just doubled your odds of success." Woman says, "I bought two for myself so I don't need to make an app."
Share March 24, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: I've become a doomsday prophet so I can scare gullible people. Im telling everyone the world will end in year 2000. My compelling logic is that 2000 is a big round number. Dogbert: Its BIIIG and ROOUND Dilbert: Stop it!!!
Share March 26, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: The end of the world is coming in the year 2000. Therefore, you should give me your money before its too late. Dogbert: It is written that money is evil, I'll keep your money in Dogberts special "evil be gone" device. And its completely deductible. ...from your savings. CUSTOMER: So Im actually making money!
Share June 26, 1995's comic on:
The Boss says, "I asked Saint Dogbert to mediate our dispute over what kind of computers are allowed here." Dogbert stands behind him wearing a miter and holding a scepter. Looking down from the top of a file cabinet, Dogbert raises his arms and says, "I shall go to the desert and seek enlightenment. When I return I will reveal the true path of computing." The caption says, "Palm Springs." Dogbert is at a table with a man holding a suitcase full of money. Behind the man is a woman with a sack of money. Dogbert says to the man, "You call this an endorsement contract?! Go to the end of the line!"
Share May 04, 1996's comic on:
Wally hands the Boss a document and says, "Here are my budget estimates for the year." Wally continues, "Thanks to management bungling and indecision, I plan to use no capital for several months followed by a reckless year-end orgy of acquisition." Wally asks, "Is that what you were looking for?" The Boss responds, "Tell me again what 'capital' is."
Share May 31, 1996's comic on:
A man enters Wally's cubicle, hands him a document and says, "Wally, I need your input on this by the end of the day." Wally points to a stack of paper and says, "Please drop your request here, in 'Wally's Pile of Perpetual Ignorance.'" The man asks, "Can't I just give it to you?" Wally replies, "I don't like to touch that stuff with my hands."
Share November 20, 1996's comic on:
Wally approaches a man and a woman who are smoking. He says, "Here's my first cigarette ever. I'm looking forward to the many smoking breaks I'm entitled to." Wally says, "I'll probably see you three times a day, just smoking and chatting and enjoying the fresh air!" Wally says, "I assume you light the color-coded end, right?" The man and woman drop their cigarettes and say, "I quit."
Share June 09, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert sits on a park bench with a man in a sweat suit. The man says, "I teach my kids that these things are right and these things are wrong. Period. End of story." Dogbert asks, "Wouldn't that teach them to believe anything they're told without applying any critical thinking?" The man replies, "I don't think about that." Dogbert says, "Duh."
Share April 02, 1998's comic on:
Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "Human resources is prescribing powerful antidepressants to improve morale." Alice continues, "The label says it may cause 'unwarranted optimism about you dead-end job.'" Wally, "I gotta get me some of that."