Search Results for "energy source"
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Character
Monday January 07,
2013
Tags #coffee, #coffee & tea, #energy source, #laziness, #organic devices, #plant seeds
Transcript
Wally: This week I tested a source of energy that can power organic devices. It's made from plant seeds and water. Boss: Is the energy source called coffee? Wally: Let's talk about Dilbert's project. I hear it's a mess.
Thursday June 21,
2007
Tags #green consultant, #source of methane, #free source, #energy, #small office, #give, #butt, #hose, #pants
Transcript
Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Your coworkers have identified you as a source of methane." Dogbert: "If we capture this free source of energy we can power a small office building." Wally: "I give and I give."
Thursday November 03,
1994
Tags #interdisciplinary task force, #source of problem, #xray skull, #decision making process
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm starting an interdisciplinary task force to study our decision-making process." Dilbert responds, "So, you're using a bad decision-making process to decide how to fix our bad decision-making process?" The Boss says, "I don't know how else we could find the source of our problem." Dilbert says, "X-ray your skull?"
Friday November 03,
1995
Tags #low cost paintings, #walls, #in a frame, #how much paintings, #corporate art source, #dogbert art dealer
Transcript
Dogbert and the Boss sit at a table looking at a catalog. Dogbert says, "The 'Dogbert Corporate Art Source' will provide low-cost paintings for your walls." Dogbert continues, "Our motto is 'if it's in a frame it will look like art to you.'" The Boss asks, "How much do the paintings cost?" Dogbert replies, "Six dollars a pound."
Thursday January 14,
1999
Tags #venture capitalists, #web based business, #lazy, #dishonest, #create, #accounting irregularities, #energy
Transcript
Wally walks into Dilbert's cubicle holding a huge bag of money. Wally has long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Wally says, "Venture capitalists gave me money to start a web-based business." Dilbert says, "Do they know that you're lazy and dishonest?" Wally says, "It didn't come up." Dilbert says, "What'll you create... besides accounting irregularities?" Wally says, "That's all I have the energy for."
Saturday January 16,
1999
Tags #internet start up, #dominant internet source, #tuna snadwhiches
Transcript
Dilbert stands in Wally's cubicle. Wally is at his computer. Dilbert says, "How's your internet start-up company coming?" Wally says, still sporting a pontail,"Good." Wally says, "My plan is to be the dominant internet source for tuna sandwiches." Dilbert says, "So if I buy one, you ship it overnight?" Wally says, "no, you have to come and pick it up."
Wednesday February 23,
2000
Tags #demo of new prodcut, #ceo, #partner is channeling, #angry energy, #thousand dead souls, #more like that
Transcript
The boss tells Dilbert and Paul Tergeist: "Put together a demo of our new product. Our CEO wants to see it." Dilbert says to the Boss: "My partner is channeling the angry energy of a thousand dead souls." The boss replies: "Why can't you be more like that?"
Monday August 20,
2001
Tags #drool, #hydrogenerator, #save energy, #sleeping
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Each of us must do his part to save energy." Wally falls asleep, "Zzzzzz." Dilbert points at Wally and says, "I could build a tiny hydro-generator for his drool."
Saturday August 25,
2001
Tags #awkward, #couch, #green, #lights on, #meet new girlfreind, #save energy, #smooch, #turn lights, #dinosaur
Transcript
Dilbert and his girlfriend are sitting on the couch. Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I turn off the lights to... um... save energy?" She replies, "I'm green with that." The lights are off. There are only sounds of kissing: "Mmm.. smooch smooch." "Smooch smooch." Dilbert's girlfriend turns on the light to find Dilbert on top of Bob. Bob says, "I came down to meet your new girlfriend but now I think it'll be awkward."
Sunday March 19,
2000
Tags #dozen bugs, #bugs in software, #fix for 20k, #defective porduct, #evil euphria, #no choice, #making fortune, #single source tsrategy
Transcript
Dilbert tells a salesman: "We found a dozen bugs in the software you sold us." The salesman answers: "We can fix these bugs for $20,000. Dilbert is shocked: "What?" Dilber says: "You can't charge us to fix you own defective product!" The salesman laughs boisterously. He explains: "Sorry...I was overcome by an evil euphoria." Dilbert says: "I guess we have to pay. We have no choice!" Reaching for his cell-phone, the salesman says: "Excuse me." The salesman speaks into his cell-phone: "Put more bugs in the software! I'm making a fortune out here!" Dilbert thinks: "I'm starting to question our single source strategy."