Search Results for "error"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #computer problem, #human error, #stupid, #mock, #cabbage

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Was it human error?" Dilbert says, "I doubt it" Dilbert says, "No human would be that stupid. My best guess is that a cabbage got access to your computer." The Boss says, "Cabbbages can't use computers." Dilbert says, "Can they tell when they're being mocked?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1990's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

A doctor says to Dilbert, "It seems we had a mix-up with your test results." Dilbert asks, "Then I'm not dying?" The doctor replies, "We doctors are amazingly smart, but occasionally we make a little error." Dilbert says, "Well . . . I understand." The physician looks at a chart and says, "By the way, your pap smear was normal."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 1992's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The garbage man says to Dilbert, "From the looks of your garbage, you've invented some sort of molecule bifurcation communicator." The garbage man continues, "Ah, yes, Einstein thought this type of thing might work. Physicist John Stuart Bell kind of fleshed it out in 1964. But you've really added something . . ." The garbage man points to a scrap of paper and says, "Specifically, you've added this calculation error here."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1993's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, ". . . So I knew it was either a layer three protocol error or else it was time to recalibrate the scope." Dilbert continues, "Ha ha! I'll avoid the obvious pun about D-channel packet addressing!" The waiter wrestles with the woman for her knife. Dilbert says, "I don't think she's done with her knife." The waiter says, "I know. I lost three engineers this way."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 1995's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Liz sits at her computer and Dilbert looks over her shoulder. Liz says, "I built a spreadsheet to compare our relative qualities. I'm afraid I'm twenty percent too good for you. We must stop dating." Dilbert points at the screen and says, "NO! Look, Liz, you have the wrong formula in this column! That must mean I have higher math skills than you! We're almost even!" After Dilbert leaves, Liz sits at her computer and Dogbert sits on her printer. Dogbert says to Liz, "You left that error in there intentionally." Liz answers, "My last batch of flowers is wilting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1996's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at her desk. Asok tells her, "I found many areas for improvement in your document, Alice." Asok continues, "I'm only an intern, but these error stand out like huge, red, blinking lights." Asok continues, "You could put this on top of an ambulance as a warning." Alice rolls up her sleeve as if she is about to punch Asok. She says, "I was thinking the same thing about you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1994's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert! Come here! I've done it!" "I created a mathematical proof of the existence of God!" "Give it to me." "This is a job for the world's smartest garbage man." "What can I do for you, Dogbert?" "Check this math." "Clever...but he transposed some variables. This proves the existence of his dog." "Now we know YOU exist and I must exist because 'I think, therefore I am'." "But since Dilbert wasn't thinking when he made his error, there's no proof that HE exists." "Hey!" "Did you just hear something, Dogbert?" "There's no way to be sure."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 1995's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I worked all night but I finished the presentation package you wanted." The Boss looks at a transparency and says, "Put the presentation date on each page." Dilbert says, "Those are color transparencies. It would take hours and cost hundreds of dollars to reprint them." Dilbert continues, "There's no reason to date them. In fact, it would limit future use and clutter the page." Dilbert continues, "But since you're incapable of admitting error . . ." Dilbert bows and continues, "I eagerly await your bizarre, other-worldly explanation for putting the date on each page." The Boss says, "Some people might not have calendars and we have to make sure it's not a holiday." There is an explosion. A cloud of smoke hovers where Dilbert's head should be. Dilbert says, "Ouch. My brain exploded." The Boss says, "The first presentation is February 30th . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 1999's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands behind Asok, who sits zombie like at his computer, and says, "It's a funny thing about budgets...." Dilbert says, "No matter how hard you try, there's always a spreadsheet error that makes it all an exercise in futility." Dilbert says, "Do you mind if I hum?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2000's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

A strange-looking man with a tie that sticks-up in the air introduces himself to Dilbert who is sitting facing his computer. The man says: "My name is Paul Tergeist." Dilbert is attentively looking at his computer which displays an error message. Paul Tergeist continues: "I have a way with technology." Dilbert's computer crashes. The Boss appears and asks Dilbert: "Have you met your new lab partner?" Dilbert does not answer him, however, as he is staring with perplexity at his pen, which is suspended in mid-air before his eyes. Dilbert exclaims: "My pen is hovering!"