Search Results for "excuse"
Share April 21, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask Carol to help me schedule these meetings? Boss: Ooh... that's no good. She'd use it as an excuse to do absolutely nothing else for a week. Dilbert: Is it okay if I just stare at you in disbelief? Boss: Shouldn't you be scheduling some meetings?
Share July 15, 2000's comic on:
Asok says to Wally, "I got the stress everyone talks about. What should I do?" Wally answers, "Try using it as an excuse for not exercising." Asok asks Wally, "So...it's a good thing?" Wally replies, "It made me the man I am today."
Share December 05, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting in the jury room with two other people. The man sitting next to him asks, "What excuse are you planning to use?" Dilbert says to the man, "I'm happy to serve. It's my civic responsibility." The man says to Dilbert, "Insanity; good one."
Share June 28, 2001's comic on:
The Boss sits at the conference table next to Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "We need to do more with less." Wally raises his hand and says, "I propose that we work smarter while broadening our focus." The Boss says, "Wally, that doesn't mean anything." Wally replies, "Well, excuse my leadership."
Share February 17, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert is in a meeting. His coworker's cell phone rings. The coworker says, "Excuse me while I take this call." Dilbert replies, "Okay." Just as the coworker is about the answer his phone, Dilbert says, "Excuse me while I hate your inconsiderate guts." The coworker turns away annoyed and says into his phone, "No, nothing important." Dilbert continues, "Excuse me while I imagine crushing your head."
Share May 07, 2003's comic on:
Headline: P.R. for Elbonia. Dogbert is standing on a table. He addresses two Elbonians, "The media give you a bad rap for exporting leprechaun meat." Dogbert continues, "Our ad campaign will feature a leprechaun explaining that they enjoy being eaten." Ratbert is dressed up like a leprechaun in front of cameras. He is standing in a frying pan and holding a meat tenderizer. He says, "Elbonians are our best friends. Now excuse me while I tenderize myself."
Share October 23, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: Here's the guy who hasn't responded to any of my seventeen emails, nine texts, and four voicemails. It must be awkward sitting here now. Are you trying to concoct a plausible excuse for ignoring my messages? Say hello to karma.
Share April 01, 2014's comic on:
Wally: The universe is full of dark matter, quantum strangeness, and hidden dimensions. In such a universe, can we really know whether or not I did my assignment? Dilbert: How'd the new excuse work out? Wally: It did well in the A-B test against "You never told me to do that."
Share May 03, 2015's comic on:
Boss: I can't promote you because you didn't have an impact on anything important. Dilbert: How can I have an impact on important things when you put me on unimportant projects? Boss: That sounds like an excuse. Dilbert: What's the difference between an excuse and a great reason? Boss: It depends who says it. Leaders have great reasons when things don't work out, but losers just have excuses. Dilbert: So... you can turn my excuses into great reasons by promoting me? Boss: No, because I can't promote you. Dilbert: That sounds like an excuse.
Share May 13, 2016's comic on:
Boss: Why are you two hours late for work? Wally: Your wife didn't want to bother you, so she called me and asked if I would go to your house and see if she left her curling iron plugged in. Do you believe me, or do you want to risk being the first person she calls next time. Boss: Well played.