Search Results for "executive secreataries"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #carol, #secreatry, #secret society, #executive secreataries, #rule the world, #own secreatries, #Women, #meeting, #take over the world, #evil overlords

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Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #finishing projects, #early, #powerpoint, #presentation, #executive retreat, #dead boss hand puppet

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Man says, "The engineering department is finishing all of their projects early and we don't know why." CEO says, "Tell them to do a powerpoint presentation at the next executive retreat to share their methods." Asok says, "Now it's my turn to use the dead boss hand puppet!" Alice says, "Uh-oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #economic policy, #utax incentives, #projects, #tax savings, #executive bonuses, #stimulate economy, #trickle on your heads, #trickle down theory, #poker night

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The Boss says, "We've decided to use the new tax incentives on the projects we were going to do anyway." The Boss says, "The tax savings will go toward executive bonuses, which stimulate the economy via the 'trickle on your heads' theory." Alice says, "It's called the 'trickle down' theory." The Boss says, "Not on poker night."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #writing, #writing materials, #executive leadership, #money good, #pie chart, #kitten

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Boss: Can you word that more simply? I need to explain it to the executive leadership. Alice: Money be god. This make more. Oogah! Boss: That was uncalled for? Alice: I can replace the pie chart with a kitten.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #executive program, #relocate, #vindictive, #stress, #loser, #turn down opportunity, #train, #discomfort, #underlings

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Boss: You've been selected for our executive development program. That means we can make you relocate to any godforsaken dirt stain we want. As soon as you make friends or find romance, we'll move you to someplace new and worse. It won't be the sort of work you'll enjoy, and the stress might kill you. If you turn down this opportunity, the company will forever label you as a loser. If you accept the offer, the company will train you to find pleasure in the discomfort of your underlings. I'm doing it right now! Dilbert: I HATE MY LIFE!!! Boss: Yes, yes, say more.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #executive mba program, #one hour long, #degree, #prestigious university

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The boss, Wally and Dilbert are sitting at a table. The boss says: "I signed up for an executive MBA program." The boss says: "It's one-hour long and I get a degree from a prestigious university." The boss says: "I'd better run. I'm already a half-hour late."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogcart one hour course, #executive mba, #took money, #nothing in retrurn, #case study

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The boss and others are listening to Dogbert who plays the role of a teacher in front of a classroom. Dogbert says: "Welcome to the Dogbert one-hour executive MBA course." Dogbert says while wagging it's tail: "Notice that I took your money and I'm giving you almost nothing in return." Dogbert says: "That was a case study." "We have time for one more."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #one page report, #two page executive summary, #spend the day, #snapping underwear, #elastic band

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The Boss asks Dilbert: "Can you turn your one-page report into a two-page executive summary?" Dilbert answers: "I was planning to spend the day snapping myself with the elastic band on my underwear." He continues: "But your idea is good, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #executive offices, #office too far, #forgetting you name, #move office, #secretary, #forgets boss

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Wally approaches the boss. Wally says, "Your office is too far from the executive offices." The boss says, "It is?" Wally says, "They are actively forgetting your name even as we speak. It's going..going..Gone!" The boss approaches Carol and says, "Carol, we have to move my office!" Carol says, "Have we met?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2002's comic on:


Tags #executive body guard class, #pounce, #kidnapper, #sacrifice yourself, #inside help, #reimburse

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The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, I'm sending you to an executive bodyguard class." The Boss continues, "You'll learn how to pounce on a kidnapper and sacrifice yourself to keep me safe." Carol responds, "I'm taking a class called, 'inside help.'" The Boss says, "I can't reimburse for that."