Search Results for "facts"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #facts, #thimble, #knowledge, #suggestion, #technology, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Here's the mountain of facts that support my recommended technology strategy." Dilbert says, "And here's a tiny thimble that holds everything you know about technology. Maybe you could?" Dilbert says, "Leaders don't like it when you suggest they wear the thimble of knowledge like a little hat."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1998's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Who said I wasn't meeting my objectives?" The Boss says, "I can't rememeber." Alice grimaces. The Boss says, "Therefore, I have no reason to doubt the accuracy of the information." Alice says, "Check the facts!" The Boss says, "That sounds like something a guilty person would say."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2003's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"The vendor is sending their best negotiator." "You must use all of your engineering training to resist her tricks and look only at the facts." "And if you agree to infinite liability, you get a .00001% chance of dating me. Plus a minute to play with an unidentified gizmo."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm making you a sales engineer. You'll be paid on commission." "When our sales reps lie, it will be your job to make it look like the truth." "Try to avoid facts."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Career Day "Class, today Dilbert will tell us what a career in engineering is all about." "My job involves explaining things to idiots.""Then the idiots make decisions based on misinterpreting what I said." "Then it is my job to try and fix the massive problems caused by the bad decisions." "Eventually rumors overwhelm facts, and I give up." "In the final phase, I assign blame to a unpopular coworker." "So whatever you do in life don't be unpopular." "Don't listen to him!" "Said the unpopular teacher."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is spreading false rumors about me. She's trying to make me quit. "At this company we don't get all anal about the difference between false rumors and actual facts." "That's not fair!" "Said the alleged poacher of endangered species."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2001's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands before a presentation screen with a model on it. He explains, "We found a bug in our software." Another panel comes up and Dilbert continues, "It searches your e-mail address book for your mother's name." The Boss, Alice and Wally listen as Dilbert says, "Every Sunday it uses your e-mail to send her a message..." Dilbert continues, "...Comparing her face to various parts of animals." The Boss asks, "Do you have any hard facts that proves we should fix the bug?" The Boss continues, "We can't just throw money at every problem." His secretary stands behind him, holding a phone in her hand. Carol, the Boss's secretary says, "It's your mother." The Boss puts the receiver to his ear and his mother screams, "YOU MISERABLE %$#@&!!!" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "See what I mean?" The Boss replies, "No. I get this call every day" as his mother continues to curse.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I got your stupid email with your stupid link to that stupid scientific study. I don't care about your so-called "facts." I know I'm right! Dilbert: Winning an argument never feels like winning.