Search Results for "faith"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineering issues, #enginner, #not a linquist, #vague requests, #faith in humanity

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Wally, can you review this for any engineering issues?" Wally says, "What issues do you think it has?" Woman says, "I don't know. I'm not an engineer." Wally says, "Your request is too vague. You need to tell me what issues I'm looking for!" Woman says, "Did you just ask me to do what I just asked you to do?" Wally says, "I don't know. I'm an engineer, not a linguist." Woman says, "I've suddenly lost all faith in humanity!" Wally says, "On the plus side, you found an issue."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #senator, #appreciate, #close, #vote, #senate, #Political, #committee, #Dogbert, #blind, #faith, #system, #whiskey

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own a senator, what are you going to do with him?" Dogbert says, "He'll appreciate in value when a close vote comes up in the Senate. Then I'll sell him to a political action committee." Dilbert says, "This is starting to affect my blind faith in the system." Dogbert says, "He's hungry. Do we have any whiskey?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #general, #government, #u.f.o., #encounters, #Lose, #faith, #aliens, #abducting, #people, #helpless, #maintain, #confidence, #taxes, #citizens

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and a man in a military uniform sit at the table. Dogbert says, "General, I don't understand why the government is trying to cover up all the U.F.O. encounters." The General replies, "People would lose faith in their government if they knew aliens were abducting people and we were helpless to stop them." Dogbert says, "So, to maintain confidence in the government, you use our taxes to kill the citizens who find out?" The General asks, "Is that so bad?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #recalibarating, #faith in humanity, #reading opinions, #message boards

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: what are you up to? Im recalibrating my lack of faith in humanity, dilbertL will this take long? Dogbert: no, I start by reading opinions awn message boards and.... Dilbert: I can come back later. Dogbert: You ignorant juice bag

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #eating & drinking, #lunchtime, #trivial decions, #lose faith, #humanity, #no hope, #vending machine, #fatasize, #competent coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Dilbert, would you like to join us for lunch?" Dilbert says, "Where are you going?" Man says, "We haven't decided." Dilbert says, "In that case, no." Dilbert says, "I can't stand watching a small group of people trying to make a trivial decision." Dilbert says, "It makes me lose all faith in humanity." Dilbert says, "Food doesn't taste as good when you have no hope." Dilbert says, "I'll just get somehting from the vending machine and fantasize that my co-workers are competent." Dilbert says, "Let's see... what goes well with an unrealistic worldview?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #thinking, #tests, #orange buttons, #more clicks, #than green, #lost faith, #human intelligence, #green looks better, #liberated, #tyranny of thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our A-B tests show that orange buttons get 13% more clicks than green. I have now officially lost all faith in human intelligence. Boss: Stick with the green. It looks better. Dilbert: Sure. I feel liberated from the tyranny of thinking.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #ventriloquism, #discrepancy, #resume, #degree in engineering, #certification in puppetry, #diploma and bait shop

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: One of our major investors found a discrepancy on your resume. You claim to have a degree in engineering, but in reality you have a certification in puppetry from a place called... Evelyn's Diploma and Bait Shop. CEO: The board has faith in our CEO.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #conincidences, #ell phones, #ring, #emergency, #crisis, #meetings, #people leave

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is about to start a meeting. Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice's cell phones all ring simultaneously. Wally says into his phone, "Emergency, you say?" Dilbert asks into his phone, "Crisis?" The Boss is alone in the conference room. He thinks, "I'm losing my faith in coincidences."

Takes Money To Make Money

Thank you for voting.
Takes Money To Make Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags #asking questions, #faith, #idiom, #idioms, #money, #questioning, #sayings

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It takes money to make money. Dilbert: Then... where did the first money come from? Boss: God? Dilbert: Don't let him hear doubt in your voice.

Robots Inherit Earth

Thank you for voting.
Robots Inherit Earth - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #intelligence, #Religion, #faith, #god, #message, #messenger, #deception, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: My radio chip is picking up a message from Heaven. It says, "Robots shall inherit the Earth... ignore my first draft." We don't have to make this awkward.