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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #elbonians, #persecuted, #centuries, #righties, #arbitrary, #distinction, #matter, #hand, #favor, #thick, #normal

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Dilbert sits at a table with two Elbonians. One Elbonian says, "We left-handed Elbonians have been persecuted for centuries. We must crush the righties!" Dilbert asks, "Don't you see that it's only an arbitrary distinction? Isn't it obvious that people are the same no matter what hand they favor?" The Elbonian replies, "No, that isn't obvious to us at all." Dilbert waves his right hand and says, "Geez, you lefties are thick. I'm glad I'M normal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #blind, #dates, #favor, #donna, #improves, #odds, #telepathic, #twins

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Dilbert holds a bouquet of flowers and rings a doorbell. Dilbert thinks, "If I have enough blind dates, eventually the odds will be in my favor." A pair of conjoined twins answers the door and says, "Hi, I'm Debbie and I'm Donna." Dilbert sits on the couch thinking, "I think this actually improves my odds." The siamese twins say, "We're telepathic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1989's comic on:


Tags #best friends, #dog, #favor, #animals

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Dilbert sits in his chair and says, "Don't think of it as fetching, think of it as doing a favor for your best friend." As he leaves the room, Dogbert says, "It's still pretty degrading." Dogbert lifts up the bed covers and finds Dilbert's slippers. He thinks, "Grumble, grumble, grumble . . ." Dogbert says, "Uh oh! It looks like Mr. Hedge Clippers wants to speak to Mr. Slippers!" Dogbert hands Dilbert his shreaded slippers. Dogbert says, "Will you be needing your bathrobe too, O Great Master?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #dilemma, #single, #favor, #Women, #relationships

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I have a solution for your dating dilemma." Dogbert continues, "At your age there are more single men than single women." Dogbert continues, "Worse yet, all of the single women are dating married men or serial killers." Dogbert continues, "But the statistics eventually favor men." Dilbert asks, "Really? How?" Dogbert replies, "At age 80 there are THREE TIMES as many available women as men because men die younger." Dilbert asks, "Are you saying I should wait until I'm old . . . And date 80-year-old women?" Dogbert says, "No. I wouldn't wait . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #juan delegator, #assignment, #do your work, #favor, #haircut

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Dilbert works at his computer. A man with a large mustache hands dilbert a piece of paper and says, "My name is Juan Delegator. I bring you an assignment." Dilbert looks at the sheet and says, "This is YOUR assignment. You're trying to get me to do your work." Juan says, "Teamwork!" Dilbert says, "Well I guess I could do you a favor." Juan holds out a pair of scissors and says, "And I wouldn't say now to a haircut."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2001's comic on:


Tags #manager, #alice, #big favor, #pillow, #kidding, #struggle

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Wally asks Alice, "How do you like being a manager, Alice?" Alice says to Wally, "Do me a big favor; sneak into my house tonight and smother me with a pillow." Dilbert says, "I think she was kidding." Wally says, "I'll see if she puts up a struggle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #co owrker, #favor, #being b=nice, #nick names, #spitting on grave, #not dead

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"Hey, Dilby, Dil-boy, Dilly-dally, Dilbo Baggins, Dill Pickle!" "I need a favor." "Does it involve spitting on your grave?" "I'm not dead." "Well then, I guess we both need a favor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2008's comic on:


Tags #plaintiff, #favor of, #weasel, #unanimous, #wants to leave, #juror, #jury, #jurors box, #legal

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JUROR: "We find in favor of the plaintiff dude." "There was some discussion about which one is the plaintiff - the complainy guy or the weasel." "But we were unanimous in not wanting to be here any longer." Another man says, "Aye!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2010's comic on:


Tags #coworker, #favor, #hairless potter, #harry potter, #drinking coffee, #magic, #social convention, #awe, #excitement, #baldemort

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Coworker says, "Wally, will you do me a favor?" Wally says, "Absolutely. What are friends for?" Wally says, "After all, you'd do a favor for me if I asked, right?" Coworker says, "Um? sure." Wally says, "Of course you would." Wally says, "So do me a favor and don't ask me to do any favors." Coworker says, "Wow. Okay. I did not see that coming." Asok says, "You're like a wizard who uses the rules of social convention as if they are magic." Asok says, "You're Hairless Potter!" Wally says, "Don't tell Baldemort."

Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors

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Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #assist, #favor, #guest artist, #help, #helpful, #laziness, #john glynn

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Carol: Wally, will you do me a favor? Wally: It feels unlikely. Carol: You haven't heard it yet. Wally: That matters less than you hope it does.