Search Results for "firing"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #business, #revenue, #firing, #prediction

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "my side business Dilbertfiles.com, is getting lots of attention." Dilbert says, "I have a feeling I will soon be leaving my cubicle behind." Dogbert says, "Yep." Catbert says, "All in favor of firing this idiot for using company resources..."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2009's comic on:


Tags #investing, #rudeness, #firing, #downsizing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Your stock fell a penny a share so I bough 51% of the company." Dogbert says, "I'll double my investment just by firing you." Dogbert says, "Thanks for not being totally worthless." Man says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 1992's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, who is carrying a suitcase, says to Dogbert, "The President of Elbonia asked me to negotiate an end to their civil war." Dogbert asks, "Why you?" Dilbert replies, "No doubt he was impressed by my diplomacy when I was an economic advisor . . . I just wish I didn't have to fly on Elbonia Airlines." In Elbonia, two Elbonians looks at a diagram of a cannon firing at a target. One man says, ". . . At his weight, we calculate that Elbonia Airlines will fling him right on the rebel leader."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1993's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the hassock. Dogbert asks, "Ratbert, did you know that your brain automatically coordinates millions of activities every second?" Dogbert says, "Imagine if it got just a little bit confused - all those neurons firing randomly . . ." Ratbert waves his arms and legs uncontrollably. Dogbert says, "You don't add much to a conversation, but you're easily the best listener I've ever met." Ratbert screams as he falls off the hassock.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1994's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I've been asked to reduce headcount." "To be fair about it I created a scientific algorithm to decide who goes." "I thought you were firing the people with the highest salaries." "Okay, maybe 'algorithm' is an overstatement."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1998's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss has his hand on Donald's shoulder. Donald shirt is untucked and his tie is askew. The boss says, "It's not my policy to fire morons, Donald. Firing is expensive." The boss says, "It's my policy to make your job so unpleasant that you quit." Dilbert says, "So, your project involves being bitten by coyotes?" Donald is covered by small coyotes. Donald says, "Only two more years and I'm vested."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2000's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Carol comes into the Boss' office and says, "At ten you'll be firing Ted. I'll organize his goodbye party." The Boss says, "You know what would be more efficient?" Dilbert, Carol, Wally and Asok the Intern stand in a room wearing party hats. Dilbert asks, "What happens after we yell 'Surprise'?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2001's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss finishes firing an employee and says, "...Effective immediately." The employee clenches his fists in happiness and yells, "YES!" The employee dances on his chair and yells, "Ah-ooga! Woo-hoo!" The Boss looks surprised. The Boss suggests to Catbert, "We can make the severance packages less generous."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #business ethics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I'm sending you to a conference for the world's top engineers. With any luck, one of our competitors will try to poach you. That will save me the trouble of firing you. You'll be going with five other people I want to get rid of. I took the liberty of updating your resume. If this goes as planned, you'll destroy one of our competitors from within. Like a hideous disease. Make me proud! Wally: It was the first time I ever felt useful. I didn't like it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The Contractor "No pressure, but do you have any idea how easy it would be to get rid of you?" "There isn't even any paperwork. I just point my finger and you're history." "Here comes the firing finger. Oooh...Watch out!"