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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #podium, #speech, #fish food

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CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."

Boss Cancels Food Service

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Boss Cancels Food Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #lunch, #Food, #stealing, #refrigerator, #property, #misunderstanding

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Boss: I've decided to cancel our food service to save money. Dilbert: We don't have a food service. We all bring our own food and keep in the break room refrigerator. Boss: I've been eating the food in there for seven years. Dilbert: I'd keep that to myself if I were you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #dating, #restaurants, #filling survey, #surveys, #guilty, #date, #dinner, #restaurant, #Food, #favorite restaurant, #romance, #waiter, #pick up waiter, #ruined, #relationships

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Waiter: Would you mind filling out this customer survey so we know how we're doing? Dilbert: I don't have time to fill out surveys about everything I do. But you're making me feel guilty about not doing it. Oh no! You turned a good customer experience into something ugly. It's getting all awkward and I'm looking like a big jerk in front my date. Now I can never again eat here because I'm afraid of what you'll do to my food. You've ruined my favorite restaurant, as well as my chance of romance with this woman. Waiter: ... favorite restaurant... Woman: What are you doing later?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2011's comic on:


Tags #groceries & grocery stores, #natural disasters, #saving & investment, #complete meltdown, #financial system, #six months, #Food, #water, #batteries, #gold coins, #light on defensive weapontry, #protein bars, #money

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Dilbert: I'm preparing for the complete meltdown of our financial system. I've got six months of food and water. I have batteries, flashlights, and gold coins. Alice: I'm prepare too. I have your home address. And I noticed that your preparations are light on defensive weaponry. Can you add some protein bars to the shopping list?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #food werewolf, #too long, #no food, #werewolf

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Alice: We'd better wrap up this meeting because Jenny is a food werewolf. Dilbert: What? Alice: When she goes too long without eating, she turns into a werewolf. It might be too late. Werewolf: YA THINK?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Food, #toaster, #shoot

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Dogbert holds a slingshot and stands near a counter with a toaster on it. Dogbert says, "Pull!" Dogbert shoots a piece of toast as it pops into the air. Dogbert says, "People who don't play with their food are missing a lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #fast, #not, #eating, #starved, #death, #fast food

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a fast food restaurant. Dogbert asks, "Doesn't 'fast' mean not eating?" Dogbert asks, "So how can you have 'fast food?'" Dogbert asks, "And how much would I have to eat before I starved to death?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hitchcock, #movie, #sequel, #alfred hitchcock, #the fish

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "Let's go see the new Alfred Hitchcock movie." Dilbert asks, "How could there be a 'new' Hitchcock movie?" Dogbert replies, "It's some kind of a sequel." Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a movie theater watching "Alfred Hitchcock presents The Fish."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #outbox, #mail, #outgoing mail, #fish, #weather, #small talk, #errands

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Dilbert stands in front of a desk. A voice from the out box says, "Hey! Big guy, how are ya?" An envelope peeks out of the box and says, "How's the family? You look great . . . Nice weather, huh?" Dilbert walks away thinking, "I hate outgoing mail." The envelope yells, "Do you fish?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #Food, #fight, #throwing, #potatoes, #ear, #corn, #chowder, #kitchen, #ding-dong, #witch, #dead

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Dilbert arrives at home with food stuck to his suit. Dogbert asks, "How was your lunch with the executive vice president?" Dilbert sits in his chair and says, "Everything was fine until the food fight. He started throwing au gratin potatoes . . . I countered with an ear of corn to his head and ran for the exit." Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "When I left, he was face-down in the clam chowder and the kitchen staff was singing 'ding-dong the witch is dead.'"