Search Results for "flew to wrong city"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #accomplishments, #past 3 months, #cutsomers, #misconceptions, #objective, #home computer, #paraphase, #flew to wrong city, #upgraded computer

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The Boss: "What? You have no accomplishments this month???" "What did you do for the past three months?" Dilbert: "Well, I spent much of that time correcting misconceptions that you gave to our customers." "And I attended meetings with you to keep you from creating additional misconceptions." "I spent a month working on an objective that you forgot to tell me didn't matter." "I flew to the wrong city for a meeting because you confused Houston with Austin." "And I upgraded your home computer so you wouldn't have to pay someone to do it." "Allow me to paraphrase: Blah, blah, blah, you didn't accomplish anything."

Dilbert Refuses To Admit He Is Wrong

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 Dilbert Refuses To Admit He Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #wrong, #right vs. wrong, #narcissist, #refuse to admit

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Tina: People keep telling me you refuse to admit when you are wrong. Dilbert: It only looks that way because Im right most off the time and people are too dumb to know it. Tina: wow! They're right about you being a narcissist, too. Dilbert: I refuse to admit I'm wrong about this.

Looking In The Wrong Places

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Looking In The Wrong Places - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #couch, #co-worker, #wimp, #empathy, #wrong, #places

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Dilbert: I offered to help a co-worker, and she started delegating tasks to me like I'm her subordinate. Dogbert: Is the point of your boring story that your co-worker is a natural leader and you're a wimp. Dilbert: I was looking for some empathy. Dogbert: Is your point that you look for things in the wrong places?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #deception, #managers & supervisors, #learn from mistakes, #make alits, #wrong this year, #coincidence, #perfromance reviews, #management legends, #business

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The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #program website, #collect browser hostory, #invent device, #sense of right and wrong

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The boss: How hard would it be to program our website to collect browser history from our visitors? Dilbert: well, first Id need to invent some sort of device that reverses my sense of right and wrong. The Boss: so...we we talking about a week ...or a month?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #walkways, #minute, #meeting, #walk and talk, #barely concentrate, #prove underling wrong, #business

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Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #death & dying, #could go wrong, #did go worng, #closer to death, #creepy

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Russell: This past week, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Dilbert: Look on the bright side: you're seven days closer to death. Man: Hey! That's true! Dilbert: It's creepy when that works.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #annoyance, #wrong side of bed, #bat like, #wrapped around body, #funnier in head

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Alice: I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Wally: Were you hanging from the bottom with your wings wrapped around your body? That was funnier inside my head.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #money, #flew to veags, #difficult game, #few beverages, #drop dead, #adult bevarages, #goaway, #est, #co workers, #pai gow, #weekend

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Dilbert: I heard you flew to Vegas and played pai gow all weekend. Wally: Go away. Dilbert: That's a difficult game to learn after having a few adult beverages. Wally: Drop dead. Dilbert: How'd you do? Wally: Leave me alone!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #editors, #document, #bad edits, #wrong religion, #fool

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Coworker: I made some edits to your document. Dilbert: These edits are so bad that my only choices are to send it out and make a fool of myself or insult your alleged intelligence. Coworker: Please let it be the first choice. Dilbert: I hope you didn't pick the wrong religion too.