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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2000's comic on:


Tags #wally report, #serious threat, #productivity, #new things, #brain full, #forget fifth grade, #more information, #can't sustain information

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Alice, Wally, Dilbert and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Wally says: "In this week's Wally report, I'll discuss a serious threat to my productivity." Wally says: "By Tuesday my brain was so full that I had to forget things to make room for new things." Alice looks to Wally through the coner of her eyes. The boss says: "Wally. I have some information for you." Wally says: "Great. I'll just forget the fifth grade."

We Will Never Forget Ted

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We Will Never Forget Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #coworker, #coworkers, #death, #tributes, #morning, #beloved collegue, #never forget

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Boss: We mourn the untimely passing of our beloved colleague, Fred. We will never forget him. Dilbert: It was Ted, not Fred. Boss: Was he beloved? Wally: I don't remember. It was like a week ago.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #awake, #two days staright, #deadline, #all for nothing, #middel, #stack, #forget it

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Alice stands at Carol's desk. Alice hair is a mess and she holds a report. Alice says, "I stayed awake for two days straight to finish this R.F.Q. by the deadline." Alice says, "But it will all be for nothing if you don't send it out today." Alice hands the folder to Carol. Carol puts the folder in the middle of a huge pile of papers on her desk and says, "I'll put it in the middle of the stack so I won't forget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #words have squiggles, #bad grammar, #every sentence, #third grade, #enrollment form

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The boss seats at his computer and says, "Carol, come here! All of my words have squiggles under them!" CArol looks at his computer screen and says, "The software is telling you that every sentence you wrote has bad grammar." Carol says, "Press F1 for help and... it's a third grade enrollment form."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #accused of stealing, #computers, #took the fifth, #job interview, #lied, #stole

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Why did you leave your last job? "They accused me of stealing four computers." "Did they make you confess?" "I took the fifth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #interviews, #trousers, #emperor has no clothes, #wearing pants, #forget pants

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Boss: I'm looking for employees who aren't afraid to tell the emperor he has no clothes. Interviewee: Fine. You're not wearing pants. Boss: What? The one time I forget to wear pants...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2013's comic on:


Tags #management experts, #fat leaders, #favorably, #athletic ones, #donuts, #forget, #seriously

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Carol: management experts say fat readers are viewed less favorably than athletic ones, Thats why I didn't order any donuts for your meeting. The Boss: Or did you just forget to do it? Carol: I can't take you seriously looking like that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #cpg project, #confused, #leader, #team, #face front, #back, #walk away, #flippant, #useless, #forget, #frustrated, #angry, #comfort, #hand on shoulder, #shake, #clench teeth, #hair stand up

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The Boss says, "How's the CPG project coming along?" Dilbert says, "How would I know?" The Boss says, "You're leading that project." Dilbert says, "I am? Since when?" The Boss says, "I told everyone on the team two months ago." Dilbert says, "I'm not on the team. You never told me." The Boss says, "Whatever, go tell the team you've been in charge for the past two months and see what they've accomplished." The Boss says, "Who is on the team?" The Boss says, "I forget. I think one had dark hair. And another one was sad." The Boss says, "Don't tell them there's a duplicate project in another division." Wally says, "You'll be okay. Just release the caring. Let it go."

3 D Immersive Goggles

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3 D Immersive Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #death, #distraction, #mortality, #technology, #virtual reality, #3d goggles, #testing, #good experince, #forget to eat

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Dilbert: Hey, Ted, how do you like our new 3-D immersive goggles you've been testing for two weeks? Some people say the experience is so good that you forget to eat. You're dead, aren't you...

The Illusion Of Leadership

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The Illusion Of Leadership - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #Advice, #forget, #forgetfulness, #jargon, #leadership, #managers, #managers & supervisors

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Boss: I forget why I walked over here. Dilbert: Were you planning to spew empty jargon in my direction to create the illusion of leadership? Boss: Oh, right. But now it feels as if the moment has passed.