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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #boss, #insult, #insults, #lists, #managers, #obliviousness, #five signs, #bad boss, #forwarded link, #70 people

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Dilbert: Did you see the article on the Internet about the five signs you might be a bad boss? Boss: Yeah. About seventy people forwarded it to me. Dilbert: That was number three on the list. Boss: I didn't read it. Dilbert: That was number one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #deception, #ignorance (knowledge), #helicopter from kit, #link to website, #too dumb, #pliers

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Carol: You should build your own helicopter from a kit. I'll send you a link to the website. It's only dangerous for people who are too dumb to know how dumb they are. Boss: Is it as easy as it sounds? I have pliers. Carol: Yes!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #another anonymous email, #correlation, #employees, #link to article, #worlds worst boss

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Boss: Someone sent me another anonymous email with a link to an article about the world's worst bosses. I get one of those emails every time I leave your cubicle. Did you think I wouldn't notice the correlation? Wally: Correlation does not imply causation.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #invisible to coworkers, #compensate, #symbiotic realtionship, #visible creature, #ratbert, #visual, #auditory link, #columbian coffee

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "You're invisible to your co-workers. But you can compensate by forming a symbiotic relationship with a visible creature." Ratbert joins Dilbert and Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "Ratbert will cling to your back. He'll be your visual and auditory link with your co-workers." Ratbert is suspended in midair between Wally and Alice. Ratbert says to Wally, "So . . . working hard? Or hardly working?" Wally looks into his coffee mug and responds, "I KNEW this Colombian coffee was trouble."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #alice slams wally, #fast forwarded, #harrasment, #ignore sexy, #mandatory video, #sext, #sexual harassment, #video, #evolution

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Wally says to Alice, "I just watched the mandatory video on sexual harassment. It worked!" Wally continues, "In only thirty minutes, that video corrected a billion years of evolution. Do something sexy and watch me ignore it!" After Alice shoves Wally's head into the wall, he says, "I probably shouldn't have fast-forwarded through the boring parts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1996's comic on:


Tags #lowly intern, #obvious solution, #clear buffers, #initialize link, #code patch, #memory leak, #salary, #twice as much

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Asok stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I am only a lowly intern, but I see an obvious solution to your problem." Asok says, "Just click here . . . Clear your buffers and initialize the link . . . Now use this code patch for the memory leak." Asok says, "This is funny if you consider that your salary is twice as much as mine." Wally replies, "I'm laughing on the inside."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1997's comic on:


Tags #moms birthday, #wants nothing, #home entertainment theater, #50 inch screen, #surround sound, #satellite link, #toaster oven

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Dilbert and his mother stand in the kitchen. Dilbert asks, "What do you want for your birthday this year, Mom?" Dilbert's mother replies, "Oh, nothing. I have everything I need." Dilbert says, "Oh, c'mon. There must be something you want." His mother replies, "Well, one thing, but it's silly." They sit in chairs. Dilbert says, "You just name it." His mom replies, "Okay." Dilbert's mother says, "I'd like a home entertainment theatre with a fifty-inch screen, 'Thx' Surround Sound and a 600 KBPS satellite link to the Net so I can view adult pictures during the commercials." Dilbert replies, "I was thinking more along the lines of a new toaster oven." Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, that's exciting. I'll put it next to my other one and watch them fight it out." Dilbert says, "There's a real dark side to the information age." Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, and about the gift of life I gave you; you're welcome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #website, #various sponcers, #pay for eyeballs, #link to us, #owe ourselves, #billion dollars

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Dilbert, Ming,the new web employee, and the boss are sitting at a table. Ming has a sheet of paper on the table. Ming says: "I linked our web site to various sponsors who pay us for eyeballs." Ming says:"Those sponsors link to other web sites who link to us." Ming says to the boss:"The net-net at the end of the day is we owe ourselves a billion dollars." The boss thinks: "eyeballs?", while expressing disgust.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #websmistress ming, #broken link, #Men, #perverse pleasure, #graphics are slow

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Webmistress Ming: Wally and Ming are talking in a hallway, Ming is holding a folder. Wally says to Ming: "You have a broken link." Ming answers: "I know, I know." Asok is standing in the door of Ming's cubicle and Ming is sitting at her computer. Asok says to Ming: "You have a broken link." Ming answers:"I know, I know." Ming is lying down on a reclining chair at a therapist office, the therapist is sitting behind her and taking notes. Ming says to the therapist: "The men are getting perverse pleasure from reporting my broken links." The therapist answers: "Your graphics are slow, too"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2000's comic on:


Tags #company sadist, #forwarded email, #email insulted, #interesting theory

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The sadist approaches Alice and says, "I forwarded your e-mail to everyone." Alice now shocked and horrified, turns to face the sadist. She says, "Gaaa! That e-mail insulted half the people on our project!!" After reading Alice's email, Carol says to Alice and Dilbert "That's an interesting theory about why my hair is brown."