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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #day care facility, #free range day care, #roam free, #economical, #powerpoint lsides

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The Boss and Dogbert sit at a table. Dogbert shows the Boss a document and says, "Here's my final plan for the company's day care facility." Dogbert continues, "I call it free range day care. The children are allowed to roam free among the cubicles. It's very economical." Two small children stand in Wally's cubicle. The boy says, "I don't believe he's really an evil troll." The girl says, "Look at the 'Powerpoint' slides he's making. It's not human."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dogbert day care, #progressive, #duct tape, #fortune

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Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "What exactly is the Dogbert Day Care concept?" Dogbert answers, "Progressive companies can provide day care without spending a bundle." The Boss reads Dogbert's plan and asks, "Wouldn't we spend a fortune on duct tape?" Dogbert replies, "It's reusable unless it gets slobbered on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #day care is closed, #tess is yeller, #smokey is biter, #towns people torched

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Carol with a child in each hand comes up to Dilbert, who is at his computer and says, "I brought my kids to work because day care is closed." Dilbert turns around and Carol introduces the kids. "Tess is a yeller and Smokey is a biter." Later on... Dilbert, with Smokey hanging from his teeth on his arm and Tess on his leg screaming, is now standing behind Carol, who is sitting at her desk. Dilbert says, "Why is day care closed?" Carol replies, "The townspeople torched it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #rave review, #buy review, #new movie, #afford, #full price range, #new years day, #best comedy so far, #this year

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A Hollywood type says into the telephone, "Hello.. Yes, I'd like to buy a rave review for my new movie." Dogbert, on the other end of the line, replies, "Can you afford the 'suspenseful thrill ride' or would you like something more in the 'delightful' price range." The man responds, "I'm releasing it on New Year's Day, Can you give me a price for 'Best Comedy So Far This Year?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #stress free, #unrealistic beliefs, #people care, #stapler, #steal, #coworkers, #budget numbers, #lying, #briefcase, #coffe cup

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Asok: Wally how can you be so stress free? Wally: Its quite simple. Stress is caused by an unrealistic belief that people care about you, I, on the other hand expect pope to be like me. Lets visit ted and I'll show you how this works. Ted, do you have the budget numbers that you promised me? Thats next on my to-do lit. While he was lying to me, I told his stapler, so I came out a head. He forgot his mug, Im going to sip that puppy into my briefcase.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #interviews, #wages, #interviewing, #salary range, #reveal nature of job, #current salary, #interviewing me, #evil or inconsiderate, #current job, #test the commute, #money

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Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1996's comic on:


Tags #gather requirements, #designing child care, #sewing garments, #windowless room, #illegal aliens, #discounts

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Dogbert and Alice sit at a table. Dogbert says, "Alice, I need to gather some requirements before designing the company child care facility." Dogbert continues, "Do you mind if your children spend the day sewing garments in a windowless room full of illegal aliens?" Alice replies, "I mind." Dogbert responds, "I'll put you down as a maybe." Alice asks, "Would I get discounts on those garments?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #job secuirty, #be an engineer, #takes all day, #get in on scam

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Tina says to Alice, at Alice's cubicle, "Alice, I need a career that has job security." Tina says, "Teach me to be an engineer. I don't care if it takes all day." Tina says, "But don't tell anyone; they'll all try to get in on this scam." Alice makes a funny face.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #demand raise, #doest care, #promises, #over promised, #free work, #suberb negiator

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Asok: I demand a raise or else I will quit today. the Boss: Goodbye. Asok: Noooo!!! please let me stay! I'll work every weekend for free!!! The boss: Okay. Dilbert: were you correct that your superior intelligence makes you a superb negotiator? Asok: Please shut up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogcart wrecking company, #special, #srushing, #new car, #parking lot, #cost, #monthly plan, #free model of car, #crush little one, #crush boss car

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Dogbert stands on Wally's desk, wearing a hardhat. Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Wrecking Company." Dogbert continues, "I'm running a special on crushing your boss' new car in the parking lot." Wally asks, "What does it cost?" Dogbert: "The first one is free." Dogbert adds, "If you're satisfied, I hope you'll consider my monthly plan." Wally is standing at the window with Dogbert, pointing outside. "It's the red one. He brags about it every day." The Boss is standing in front of Wally and Dilbert, holding up a model car. The Boss explains, "And when you spend that much, the dealer gives you a free model of your car!" There is a car horn heard off in the distance. Wally is slipping Dogbert a stack of bills. He adds, "And next month can you crush the little one on his desk too?"