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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bad timing, #corporate offcie, #declared war, #french embassy, #satellite program, #slingshot

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Dilbert: The corporate office sent me to head up the Elbonian satellite launching program. Elbanian: ooh...bad timing. The french delivered their satellite early. we already tried to launch it with the town slingshot. Dilbert: It doesn't get much worse than this. Elbonain: It flattened the french embassy. They declared war an hour ago.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #another war, #elbonia, #france, #french embassy, #french stopped bomb, #goading, #nothing worth destroying, #scarp metal

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Dilbert: "...The French stopped bombing Elbonia when they realized there was nothing worth destroying." "Ironically, the GNP of Elbonia tripled by selling the bomb fragments for scrap. When I left they were trying to goad France into another war." "French Embassy" Elbonian: "You call this swill champagne?? If we drank this we'd have to eat snails to get the taste out of our mouths too!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #fancy hotels, #tip, #maid, #concierge, #french-sounding

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Dilbert's suitcase sits on a bed. Dilbert thinks, "I hate fancy hotels like this . . ." Dilbert reaches for the door and thinks, "Am I expected to tip the maid when I leave?" Dilbert thinks, "I could ask that concierge guy . . . Can I trust a guy with a French-sounding job? . . . And do I have to tip HIM?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #lab rat, #escape, #laboratory, #embassy, #rat, #special, #treatment

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Lab rat: Greetings, dog. I've come to live in your house and escape from my job at the laboratory. You could think of me as a political exile seeking sanctuary in a friendly embassy. Dogbert: I could think of you as a rat. Lab rat: Okay, but I don't expect any special treatment.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #sounds, #less, #million, #times, #french, #short, #tempered, #mockingly

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Dilbert says to a short man, "Hi, Les." Les says, "You say that almost mockingly." Les continues, "The way you say it, my name sounds like 'Less.' I've told you a million times it's French -- pronounced 'Lez.'" Dilbert says, "You seem a little short-tempered." Les says, "Hey! That time you did it on purpose!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #emphasize positive, #french staellite, #trending downward, #upbeat, #war with france, #project staus

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dilberts letter: "Project status: We accidentally destroyed the French satellite and are now at war with France." Elbonian: "Maybe you should be a little more upbeat in your report. Emphasize the positive." letter: "...on a positive note, our headcount expenses are trending downward."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #all get out, #french bombing, #hardy breed, #run, #scare us

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Dilbert: The French are bombin us!! Run!! Elbonians: we elnonians are a hardy breed. Bombs don't scare us. ELBONIAN:'Course id be lying if I told you this didn't sting like all get out. NUPE IT.

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Share January 13, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert venture capitalist, #word processing, #windows, #interesting concept, #french bread

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Dogbert sits in a restaurant with a businessman. The businessman says, "My idea is to develop a word processing program for Windows." Dogbert says, "That's an interesting concept. I wonder if twenty dollars would be enough." The businessman asks, "To start a software company?" Dogbert answers, "No, to pay our waitress to beat you with a loaf of French bread." The waitress enters carrying a loaf of bread.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #network connection, #technology have not, #global economy, #french fry, #electronic mail, #snork

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Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Wally asks, "Alice, did you hear that Dilbert's network connection isn't working?" Alice says, "Uh-oh." Wally continues, "He is what we call a technology 'have not.' His competitiveness in the global economy will last as long as this french fry." Alice says, "So sad." As Wally gulps the french fry, Alice says to Dilbert, "After lunch, I'm going to use something called 'electronic mail.' You can watch if you promise not to touch anything." Dilbert looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #embassy, #nutty, #radical, #cars, #laws, #automatic, #direction, #politicians, #trust, #question, #insulted

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Dogbert sits across from a man in a strange robe and hat. The man asks, "Why have you come to the embassy of the nutty radical country of Pingo-Pongo?" Dogbert replies, "I want a job as a diplomat." The man asks, "Why?" Dogbert replies, "I'm trying to get in on the 'diplomatic immunity' scam." Dogbert throws his head back and cries, "I want to drive cars over people's lawns . . . I want to fire automatic weapons in any direction!!!" Dogbert laughs wickedly and shouts, "I want to throw Jello at politicians!" The man asks, "How do we know we could trust you?" Dogbert replies, "Sir! I am insulted by your question!"