Search Results for "friendship"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #friendship, #secretaries (office), #internet & world wide web

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Why did you reject my friend request on Facebook?" Carol says, "I'm not your friend. I'm a disgruntled wage slave who hopes you die in a freak industrial accident tomorrow at 3PM." The Boss says, "That's disturbingly specific." Carol says, "Hey, look. You have a meeting at the warehouse tomorrow."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cost & standard of living, #air travel, #friendship

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "My best friend from college keeps bugging me to visit her. The flight will cost a small fortune." Dilbert says, "Try offering her a cash payment of half the estimated cost of the trip if she agrees to stop inviting you." Tina says, "You don't have any friends, do you?" Dilbert says, "I hear they're expensive."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #gadgets, #friendship

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a shoulder holder for my phone. I felt bad keeping my best friend in my pocket. Jealousy in not attractive.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #fraternization, #friendship

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Have you met the new engineer? He's a gigantic dork. You two would get along great. I'll email him to set up a date with you. Is tomorrow good? Dilbert: Being a dork is not a romantic preference. Carol: He says he'll bring his "Star Wars" chess set.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #fraternization, #friendship, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: And then I need you to... Asok: Excuse me. Wally is needed elsewhere to do something unspecified that has an implied high priority. Carol: Seriously? You have a wingman for laziness? Wally: I think of him as a productivity retardant.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #friendship

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you feel any need to make conversation? Dilbert: Nope. But I don't mind standing in your general vicinity to counter the common perception of you as a sociopathic loner. Wally: You totally get me. Dilbert: That's what acquaintances are for.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1992's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert answers the door and a man in a suit says, "Hi! I want to be your financial advisor." The man continues, "I've come to live with you. We'll eventually form a lifelong bond of trust and friendship." Dogbert says angrily, "I liked better when you guys just took our money." The man says, "I recommend a strategy called 'Churn.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1996's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Ratbert, my company is hiring for our quality assurance group. You'd be perfect." Ratbert asks, "What would I have to do?" Dilbert replies, "You would find flaws in our new product, thus making yourself an object of intense hatred and ridicule." Ratbert says, "But then you'd fix those flaws . . . And your respect for me would grow into a special bond of friendship, right?!" Dilbert replies, "No, then we ship."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1998's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on the kitchen table with a piece of paper in one hand and a pencil in the other. Dilbert sits, dressed in a robe eating breakfast. Dogbert says, "Here's my bill." Dogbert explains, "It's for all the time we've spent together when I didn't enjoy it." Dilbert reads the piece of paper. Dogbert says, "If it wasn't fun, it must have been work." Dilbert explains, "Dogbert, let me explain what friendship is all about." Dilbert says, "Friendship is about giving freely of oneself. It's about trust and sharing." Dilbert hands the bill back to Dogbert. Dillbert says, "Now, I expect you'll want this back." Dogbert responds, "Yes." Dogbert examines the bill. Dogbert says, "I need to round it up to the next hour." Dogbert hands the bill to Dilbert. Dogbert says, "No checks. You have the face of a deadbeat." Dilbert's shoulders slump. Dilbert sighs, "I don't think that I'm reaching you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #sales personnel, #friendship, #allegiance

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Alan. He's a frendor." The Boss says, "He's not just a friend, and not just a vendor. He's something in between." The Boss says, "He'll laugh at your jokes and invite you to golf." The Boss says, "Some people are bothered by this conditional type of 'affection.'" The Boss says, "But it's better than the nothing you have now." Dilbert says, "This is awkward because I already decided to buy from his competition." The Boss says, "Now you've done it. You turned your frendor into a stalkor." Dilbert says, "I wonder if it's wrong to enjoy the attention."