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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2014's comic on:

Tags #embarrassment, #inventions, #good news, #fuel source, #organic waste material, #awkward

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Dilbert: the good news is that we're going to test a new furl source for you. The bad news is that the fun source is organic waste material. Irs awkward for me too. Just close your eyes , ok?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 1994's comic on:

Tags #interdisciplinary task force, #source of problem, #xray skull, #decision making process

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm starting an interdisciplinary task force to study our decision-making process." Dilbert responds, "So, you're using a bad decision-making process to decide how to fix our bad decision-making process?" The Boss says, "I don't know how else we could find the source of our problem." Dilbert says, "X-ray your skull?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 1995's comic on:

Tags #low cost paintings, #walls, #in a frame, #how much paintings, #corporate art source, #dogbert art dealer

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Dogbert and the Boss sit at a table looking at a catalog. Dogbert says, "The 'Dogbert Corporate Art Source' will provide low-cost paintings for your walls." Dogbert continues, "Our motto is 'if it's in a frame it will look like art to you.'" The Boss asks, "How much do the paintings cost?" Dogbert replies, "Six dollars a pound."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 1999's comic on:

Tags #internet start up, #dominant internet source, #tuna snadwhiches

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Dilbert stands in Wally's cubicle. Wally is at his computer. Dilbert says, "How's your internet start-up company coming?" Wally says, still sporting a pontail,"Good." Wally says, "My plan is to be the dominant internet source for tuna sandwiches." Dilbert says, "So if I buy one, you ship it overnight?" Wally says, "no, you have to come and pick it up."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2000's comic on:

Tags #dozen bugs, #bugs in software, #fix for 20k, #defective porduct, #evil euphria, #no choice, #making fortune, #single source tsrategy

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Dilbert tells a salesman: "We found a dozen bugs in the software you sold us." The salesman answers: "We can fix these bugs for $20,000. Dilbert is shocked: "What?" Dilber says: "You can't charge us to fix you own defective product!" The salesman laughs boisterously. He explains: "Sorry...I was overcome by an evil euphoria." Dilbert says: "I guess we have to pay. We have no choice!" Reaching for his cell-phone, the salesman says: "Excuse me." The salesman speaks into his cell-phone: "Put more bugs in the software! I'm making a fortune out here!" Dilbert thinks: "I'm starting to question our single source strategy."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2002's comic on:

Tags #cruel invention, #disposible, #evil, #fossil fuel, #lackey, #life, #no prupose, #no purpose

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Dogbert is sitting in front of Dilbert's magnetic cancellation wheel. Bob the Dinosaur approaches and says, "My dream was to someday decompose and become fossil fuel." Bob continues, "But Dilbert's cruel invention will make fuel unnecessary. Now my life has no purpose!' Dogbert replies, "You can be my disposable evil lackey." Bob responds, "I-I-I can?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2004's comic on:

Tags #manipulate, #lying, #Advice, #mayo clinic, #victim to source

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Dogbert: "You can manipulate people by lying about what other people said." "If your victim goes to the source and discovers your treachery, say, of course he tells you that." Dilbert: "Your advice doesn't sound healthy." Dogbert: "That's not what the Mayo Clinic said."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2004's comic on:

Tags #single source vendor, #job offer, #vp title, #waiting eriod

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The boss: Okay, I convinced my company to make you our single source vendor. I assume you'll be make me a job offer now. any vp title will be fine. I'll just take an empty office. There ...is...a...waiting period!!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2005's comic on:

Tags #fbi, #traced source, #spam, #revolutionary new pill, #rolex watches, #body fat

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"FBI, we need to talk to you." "We've traced the source of all internet spam to your house." "All of it?" "...The revolutionary new pill that turns your body fat into rolex watches!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2005's comic on:

Tags #fbi, #internet spam, #source, #fbi director, #dress up, #mammals, #creepy

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FBI. We have reason to believe that you're the source of all internet apam."I'm the director of the FBI. And you're both fired." "I'd heard that he likes to dress up as other mammals." "Creepy."