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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dogcart versus catbert, #dilbert death, #bob the donosuar, #fur wedgie, #lost paperwork, #ordering execustion

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The caption says, "Dogbert versus Catbert." Dogbert stands on Catbert's desk and says, "I understand you've sentenced Dilbert to death." Catbert asks, "Is that a problem?" Bob the Dinosaur stands behind Dogbert and looks menacing. Dogbert says, "My assistant, Bob the Dinosaur, will now demonstrate how to give a cat a 'fur wedgie.'" Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. He says to Dogbert, "I've been pardoned. Somehow they lost the paperwork ordering my execution." Dogbert responds, "It probably fell into a crack."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #joking, #questioning, #feel free, #questions, #ghosts have clothes, #wedgie

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Boss: Are there any questions? Feel free to ask anything at all. Wally: Why do ghosts have clothes? Dilbert: If someone gives you a wedgie at the moment you die, will you have it for eternity?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1994's comic on:


Tags #new wealth, #build amusement park, #thrilling rides, #wedgie, #restrooms, #customers, #build park

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Dogbert: I plan to use my new wealth to build an amusement park. Dogbert: Dogbertland will have thrilling rides like "The wedgie" and I'll have a maze in front of the restrooms. Dilbert: The customers will hate this. Dogbert: If they want fun they can build their own park.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 1995's comic on:


Tags #hobby geography, #twirling wedgie, #dinosaur

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Dogbert sits at a table signing copies of his book. A customer says, "My hobby is geography. Would you sign my book to each of the continents by name?" Dogbert says to the man, "Are you aware that my book recommends a twirling wedgie for people who ask for too much?" A hand reaches toward the man. Bob the Dinosaur twirls the man over his head as he gives him a wedgie. Bob says, "We find the line moves faster if I do this to the first customer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 1995's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #bob, #newest manuver, #turban wedgie, #regular wedgie

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Dogbert sits on the armrest of a couch. Dilbert, with a phone in his hand, says, "I've been on hold for tech support since Tuesday. Get Bob and meet me in the car." Dilbert is driving with Dogbert in the passenger seat. Bob the Dinosaur says from the back seat, "I can't wait to try my newest maneuver, the 'Turban Wedgie.'" Bob is holding the tech support person in the air. The tech support person has a turban on his head. Bob says to Dilbert, "It starts like a regular wedgie then I wrap it around his head." Dilbert says, "Question . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1998's comic on:


Tags #schedule, #vigorous wedgie, #boss

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The boss sits at his desk. The boss reads his organizer. The boss thinks, "Let's see what's on my schedule today." The boss reads, "Give vigorous wedgie to myself." The boss raises his eyebrows. Dilbert and Wally look into the boss's office. An "Ow!" can be heard. Wally says, "You right - he WILL do whatever is on his schedule." Dilbert says, "Vigorously?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1998's comic on:


Tags #catbert the hr director, #groom for management, #bugs in fur, #lick head, #can't be manager

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Caption: Catbert the H.R. Director. Asok the intern sits at his computer. Catbert stands on Asok's desk. Catbert says, "Asok, it's time to groom you for management." Catbert looks through Asok's hair. Catbert says, "I don't see too many bugs in your fur. Can you lick the top of your own head?" Asok frowns. Asok says, "No, I can't." Catbert says, "Then you can't be a manager."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 1996's comic on:


Tags #use speakerphone, #voice mail, #speaker phone, #inconsiderate, #too stupid, #annoying, #bob dinsoaur, #wedgie, #service elevator, #look on face, #way they yell, #philiosphers

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A man sits in his cubicle thinking, "It's time to use my speakerphone to do voice mail." The man thinks, "I can't remember if I use the speakerphone because I'm inconsiderate or because I'm too stupid to know how annoying it is." The man thinks, "I'll leave that question to the philosophers." The man screams, "Hi. Thanks for the information. Talk to you later!!!" The man shouts, "Did I tell you about my cyst?" Dilbert hears the man yelling and sends an e-mail message that says, "Dogbert, send Bob the Dinosaur quickly!" Bob says to the building security officer, "I'm here to deliver a wedgie." The man replies, "Use the service elevator." Dilbert sits at his desk humming while the man next to him screams as Bob gives him a wedgie. Dilbert presses the elevator button and asks Bob, "What's the best part - the look on their faces or the way they yell?" Bob replies, "I'll leave that question to the philosophers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #no money down, #plan to conquer, #designed, #sitting, #soft fur

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Dogbert sits in front of the television with the remote. The television says, "'In tape one, I'll teach you how to conquer a small island for no money down.'" Dogbert drops the remote in surprise as the television continues, "First, you must travel to the place you plan to conquer." Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I'm designed for sitting. That's why my butt is covered with soft fur." Dilbert sits beside him on the couch and says, "I think that's happening to me too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demo, #good sale, #sales training, #see coming, #selling, #sucker, #victim, #wedgie, #gullible

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Headline: Sales Training. The speaker points to a picture of an overly smiley man. He says, "Don't act like you're selling something." The speaker points to a picture of a man getting a wedgie. He says, "A good sale is like a good wedgie. Your victim shouldn't see it coming." The speaker continues, "For this next demonstration I need a volunteer who can't see what's coming." The man next to Dilbert raises his hand.