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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #gloating, #louvre, #powerpoint slides, #inch taller, #competitive, #petty, #giant turtle, #infinte turtles

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Topper says, "I'm an inch taller than you and my powerpoint slides are in the Louvre." Topper says, "Some say the earth is on the back of a giant turtle. But who do you think is holding the turtle?" Dilbert says, "You?" Topper says, "Wrong! It's turtles all the way down. But who do you think is holding the infinite turtles?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #turtle, #pet, #teach, #tricks, #roll, #back, #die

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. Dogbert asks, "Do you mind if I get a turtle for a pet?" Dilbert replies, "That sounds cute. Maybe you can teach it to do tricks." Dogbert asks a giant turtle, "Can you do any tricks?" The turtle replies, "I can roll on my back and die."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #inventions, #facebook, #robot arm, #talented employees, #giant condescending facebook

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Catbert says, "Facebook has created a giant robot arm to steal talented employees from other companies." Catbert says, "It's here!!!" Catbert says, "No, it looks like we got the giant condescending Facebook robot arm instead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #executives, #non giant situation, #shoulders of giants, #non giant, #business

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CEO: As your CEO, if I have seen farther, it is only because I stood on the shoulders of giants. Plus whatever is going on over here. Dilbert: That's sort of a non-giant situation. Wally: And I haven't had shoulders since I was ten.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaurs, #theory, #giant meteor, #earth, #larry

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Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor in front of Dilbert's chair. Dilbert says, ". . . So the theory that dinosaurs were destroyed when a giant meteor collided with earth . . ." Bob says, ". . . Was highly exaggerated." A dinosaur points at another dinosaur who lies underneath a meteor and says, "Ha ha, Larry! Ha ha!" Another animal says, "Nice catch." From underneath the meteor, Larry says, "Ouch!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #capitalism, #computer, #chips, #industrial, #giant, #management, #techniques

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Dilbert arrives at home and tells Dogbert, "My trip to Elbonia was a complete success." Dilbert continues, "I opened our subsidiary, taught capitalism to the locals and showed them how to make computer chips out of sand." Dogbert replies, "Oh great . . . Now they will become an industrial giant and compete against us." Dilbert says, "Don't worry. I also taught them our management techniques."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #mesozoic era, #giant, #plastic, #bone, #fake, #vomit, #wrap, #toss, #tar, #pit

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Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "You know, Bob, I always pictured you dinosaurs as . . . Uh . . . Much bigger." Bob replies, "Ah, well, you see, practical jokes were very popular in the Mesozoic era . . ." A dinosaur says to a clerk in a novelty store, "Ooh-ooh! Give me the giant plastic bone and one fake vomit!" The salesclerk asks, "Shall I wrap them or just toss them in the tar pits?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1991's comic on:


Tags #turtle, #pet, #Dogbert, #complete, #application, #lived, #shell

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Dogbert: Before I can consider you as my pet turtle, you must complete this application. Turtle: Okay, if that's your policy... "How long have you lived in your current shell?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #turtle, #comeback, #ugly-looking, #sarcasm, #mother

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Dogbert: Come meet my new pet turtle. Dilbert: Boy, that is one ugly-looking turtle. What kind is it? Dogbert: He's a, "snappy comeback turtle," but not a good one. Turtle: Oh yeah?!! Ugly, am I? Well, uh... so's my mother.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #name, #morty, #turtle, #pet, #death

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Dogbert: Aaagh!! My pet turtle is dead!! I can't believe it's already dead... I didn't even have name for it!! Dilbert: How about "Morty"?