Search Results for "given more work"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Notice: Too many results returned for your search. Displaying the first 1000 most relevant results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #hardening, #given more work, #central nervous system, #suddenly stiff, #ripening asok, #apathy cream, #air hole

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "Would you like to join me for a hardening?" Catbert asks, "What's that?" The Boss explains, "A hardening is when an employee is given more work than his central nervous system can handle." The Boss holds his arms out stiffly and says, "His whole body suddenly goes stiff." Catbert says, "I'm in." The Boss says, "I've been ripening Asok all month." Catbert says, "Purrr purrr." The Boss and Catbert look at Asok as he sits as his computer and thinks to himself, "So much work... no time." The Boss, handing Asok a piece of paper, says, "Asok, I have another assignment for you." Asok responds, "Gaaa!!!" Wally and Dilbert peer over Asok's cubicle. Wally says, "I heard a hardening. Get the Apathy Cream." A solid mask of Apathy Cream has been applied to Asok's face. Wally says, "He'll be okay when the apathy sinks in." Dilbert says, "We forgot the air hole."

Alice Takes On More Work

Thank you for voting.
Alice Takes On More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #workload, #philosophy, #semantics

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Why do I keep taking on more work while you do noting? Wally: That's because you optimize for productivity, while I optimize for my happiness. Alice: That makes you a freeloader. Wally: I prefer the label "happy winner."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #wealth, #ceo, #good job, #50 million dollar bonus, #not motivated, #bad genes, #inequality, #dosaprity, #ceo and worker, #unfair wages, #crazy money, #slave wages, #more work, #no rewards

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2000's comic on:


Tags #more work, #fewer people, #future version, #via time machine, #porject, #unmotivated

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells the Boss: "As requested, I came up with a plan for doing more work with fewer people." He points to a picture of a contraption: "A future version of me will arrive via time machine to help on the project..." He continues: "...unless you say something now that makes me unmotivated."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #programmers, #agile programming, #methods, #more work, #fewer people

View Transcript

Transcript

We need three more programmers. "Use agile programming methods." "Agile programming doesn't just mean doing more work with fewer people." "Find me some words that DO mean that and ask again."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #leave work, #boss harrassment, #work is done, #make more, #exercise in fulity, #exercise is good

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is walking out of the office with his briefcase and his jacket on. The Boss looks at his watch and says, "Leaving at seven?" Dilbert turns and replies, "All of my work is done." The Boss replies, "Then get some more work." Dilbert says, "That would make my life an exercise in futility." The Boss replies, "Exercise is good for you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2014's comic on:


Tags #incompetetnt, #laziness, #passive agressive, #threatened me more, #work ethic, #realtionships, #defensive, #admits to incompetetnt

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I can't tell if you're passive-aggressive or just incompetent. Wally: Which one sends a message that I could do good work if you threatened me more? Coworker: Passive-aggressive. Wally: Okay. I'm the other one.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1997's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand in front of the coffee machine. Wally says, "The more work I do, the more I'm given." Wally continues, "It doesn't pay to be a talented and hard-working employee." Dilbert asks, "How's it pay to be YOU?" Wally replies, "Not bad on an hourly basis."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #dumped work, #moan, #scream, #staffing levels

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Catbert: H.R. Director. Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. Catbert says, "When you dumped more work on Wally, did he moan? Or did he scream?" The Boss responds, "It sounded like this... Aaoo-muw-aahh-ow-ow!!" Catbert walks down the hall and thinks, "The staffing levels sound about right."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #good news, #promoting work, #pay and title, #Promotion, #scaring me

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Good news, Dilbert. I'm promoting you to more work!" The Boss continues, "It's the same pay and title. But it must be good because I called it a promotion and I'm smiling!" The Boss forces a severe smile and says, "Still..smiling..good...news..." Dilbert responds, "You're scaring me."