Search Results for "gnaw on cord"
Share December 14, 1994's comic on:
Ratbert sits across from a desk and says, "Outwardly, yes, I'm a rat. But my bubbly personality and my utter lack of skill make me well-suited for a career in marketing." Ratbert asks, "Would you mind terribly if I gnawed on your phone cord?" The person at the desk says, "We have an opening in lobby security." Ratbert holds the phone cord in his mouth and says, "I'm insulted!"
Share November 18, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert struggles with a vacuum cleaner. He thinks, "What idiot invented the canister vacuum cleaner?" Dogbert thinks, "I can only do about a foot at a time . . ." Dogbert pushes the vacuum cleaner and thinks, "Then I have to push this thing another foot." Dogbert turns to the reader and says, "Notice the tiny wheels which are designed to roll on any surface except carpet." Dogbert holds the electrical plug and thinks, "Now I can't reach the outlet." Dogbert thinks, "Then I get hopelessly tangled in the cord and hose." Dilbert enters the room and says, "Hi, Dogbert. Did I ever tell you that my grandfater invented the canister vacuum cleaner?" Dogbert says, "Come closer." Dogbert uses the vacuum cleaner to suck Dilbert's clothes off his body. Dilbert is left wearing only his underwear. Dilbert says, "That's probably why I never mentioned it."
Share February 27, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: "Here's your employee locator device." "Sensors in the building will be able to track you at all times." "We'll know how many times you use the restroom and how long." "It's a dog collar...the final humiliation." "Once you got used to working in cubicles like gerbils, we knew anything was possible." "My conformance rationalization mechanisms are kicking in." "It's not so bad. A collar is simply an efficient design. Everyone is doing it." "It's not so bad." "It's powered by this six foot long extension cord."
Share June 09, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his cubicle as a co-worker says, "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH." Dilbert thinks to himself, "I'm trapped in my own cubicle." Dilbert looks down at his arm and thinks, "Maybe I can gnaw off my arm to escape." Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert with a bandage on his arm. Dogbert asks, "And that worked?" Dilbert replies, "People don't stick around when you start gnawing on your arm."
Share February 06, 2002's comic on:
A woman says into the telephone, "What can I do to avoid getting computer viruses?" On the other end of the line, Dogbert replies, "Give your power cord a spinal adjustment once a week to prevent disease." The woman is adjusting her power cord. She says aloud, "I was skeptical until he said there's anecdotal evidence that it works!"
Share January 21, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I'm putting you in charge of building our new technology lab." The Boss continues, "Pick the contractor with the lowest bid. I don't see any problems with that strategy." Dilbert is meeting with a beaver. Dilbert says, "So, your bid says you'll do the job for... 'A chance to gnaw on wood.'" The beaver responds, "Too high?"
Share June 21, 2005's comic on:
It's good P.R. for the company when the CEO is a fearless adventurer. "Sounds dangerous." "Don't worry. I've asked chief financial officeer to be in charge of safety." "Okay who estimated the length of the bungee cord?"
Share June 25, 2005's comic on:
Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "Ratbert, would you like to be the CEO of a major corporation?" "That had always been my dream...until I found this extension cord to gnaw on. Now I'm committed to seeing it through." "He's a risk taker who won't stop until h achieves his goal."
Share January 15, 2014's comic on:
CEO: I want to be more visionary than Elon Musk. All he does is build spaceships and electric cars. I want you to build me an electric rocket ship full of robots that can colonize other worlds. Which planet should we do first? Dilbert: Depends how long the power cord is.
Share January 17, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert holds a drapery cord and says to a man and a woman, "My museum is the only place you can see the remains of D. B. Cooper." Dogbert continues, "Cooper hijacked a jet, demanded money and a parachute, then jumped." Dogbert opens the curtain and says, "He learned that you should never get your parachutes from the same people you're robbing." A man's legs and a backpack are inside the display case.