Search Results for "habitual liar"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 1999's comic on:


Tags #big dumb guy, #disagree, #lazy, #habitual liar, #excellent track record, #excellent work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss brings a Big Dumb Guy to Alice's desk. He says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with this big dumb guy." The Boss continues, "He doesn't know he's dumb. So he'll tell people you're dumb if you ever disagree." The Boss: "He's also lazy and a habitual liar." Alice shouts, "Then why do you let him work here?!" The Boss explains, "He has an excellent track record. No one knows why." In front of the Boss and Alice, the Big Dumb Guy bends over and picks up the document that Alice was working on from her desk. Big Dumb Guy shows Alice's document to the Boss. Big Dumb Guy says, "Look what I just did." The Boss responds, "Excellent work." Alice is flabbergasted. The Boss tries to console Alice, who is furious, with "Remember Alice, you're never too old to learn."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #habitual liar, #ordered on internet, #resist free stuff

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Karl, you're a habitual liar but these pills that I ordered over the internet will cure you." Karl: "I've never lied in my life, but I can't resist free stuff." Dilbert: "Um... Are you alive?" Karl: "Never felt better!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2005's comic on:


Tags #liar, #habitual liar, #died, #feel great, #head is skull, #attached to body, #yoga

View Transcript

Transcript

The Habitual Liar Alice: "I thought you died." Liar: "No. I feel great!" Alice: "I'm sure you're dead. Your head is a skull." Liar : "I cut back on carbs." Alice: "Your head isnt' even attatched to your body." Liar"I take yoga."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #habitual liar, #skull, #talking skull, #running marathin, #genie in bottle

View Transcript

Transcript

Habitual Liar: Alice: Are you sticking with you story that you're still alive?" Liar: "I feel terrific!" "I'm running a marathon later today." Low Priced Cremations While You Wait "I'm a gennie in a bottle! Make a wish!" Alice: "GAAA!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #liar, #bottle, #voice, #still lying, #dead and lying, #voice only

View Transcript

Transcript

The Cremated Habitual Liar" Liar: "I'm learning to salsa dance in here." Alice: "YOu are not sala dancing! You have not body." Liar: "Tell that to my dance instructor." "Focus!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #conversation, #ask ed, #dumb guy, #liar, #bad breath, #braggaty, #large pores, #combover, #describe me, #behind my back, #insecure guy, #steers conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: You should ask Ed about this. Carol: Is Ed the dumb guy who talks too much or the liar with the bad breath? Alice: He's the braggart with large pores and a combover. Dilbert: Wow. How do you describe me behind my back? Carol: You're the insecure guy who steers the conversation to himself.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1995's comic on:


Tags #project cancelled, #rumor has it, #give raise, #come work, #transfer, #pathological liar, #super prowers

View Transcript

Transcript

A co-worker says to Dilbert, "Reliable sources say your project will be canceled, Dilbert." The co-worker continues, "You should abandon it now and come work on MY project. When my big promotion goes through next month, I'll transfer you to my group and give you a raise." Dilbert says, "That's very tempting except for the fact you're a pathological liar." The co-worker waves his hands and says, "Be careful what you say - I have super powers."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 1995's comic on:


Tags #pathological liar, #work, #luck, #phd in laitology, #from mit, #diploma

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Dogbert who sits on the armrest of the couch, "Dogbert, I need your help dealing with a pathological liar at work." Dogbert says, "You're in luck. I happen to have a Ph.D. in Liatology from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology." Dilbert crosses his arms and says defiantly, "I'd love to see your diploma." Dogbert replies, "I'll mail it to you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #most absurd activity, #timecard, #no project code, #staring at wall, #fretting, #reorganization, #training, #their or liar

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "And now for the most absurd activity of the week: the timecard." Dilbert thinks, "There's no project code for 'staring at the wall and fretting about the reorganization.' I'll call it 'training.'" Dilbert hands the timecard to Carol and says, "Before I worked here I wasn't a thief or a liar." Carol replies, "You can't get that kind of training in school."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2003's comic on:


Tags #reapir, #defective co workers, #paramoid, #invited to meetings, #fix her, #trade in, #liar, #moron, #whistler

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert carries Peri Noid over his shoulder towards a shop with a sign that reads, "Repair Defective Co-workers." Dilbert holds Peri up and says to The Garbageman, "She's paranoid about not being invited to meetings. Can you fix her?" The Garbageman replies, "Nope." Dilbert asks, "Can I trade her in?" The Garbageman responds, "Would you like a liar, a moron, or a whistler?"