Search Results for "hammer"
Share October 28, 2015's comic on:
Share January 27, 2011's comic on:
The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."
Share June 03, 2008's comic on:
Catbert says, "Wally, I enrolled you in a program to cure uselessness." Catbert says, "Your classmates will be a glass hammer and a bag of nothing." Wally says, "Can I borrow a pen?" A bag says, "Dude, no arms."
Share March 24, 2010's comic on:
CEO says, "This rope is attached to a crony from my last CEO job." CEO says, "Give it a good yank and reel him in. He's your new boss." The Boss says, "Is he qualified for the job?" CEO says, "Like a monkey with a hammer!"
Share June 24, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: "Run this by our attorney." Dilbert: "May I vigorously hit myself with a hammer instead?" The Boss: "You have my attention." Dilbert: "Either way, it's a painful process that won't change the final result." "But the hammer is quicker and it will still make you feel as if you made me do something." The Boss: "Okay. Try the hammer thing." BAM! "Ouch!" BAM! "Ouch!" BAM! "Ouch!" "Now run it by our attorney so it feels as if I did two things."
Share May 03, 2013's comic on:
Carol: My 12-year-old wants to know what career would prevent him from being replaced by a robot. Dilbert: I've met your son, and I'm pretty sure he could be replaced by a hammer. Carol: This took an ugly turn. Dilbert: Maybe the robots can use him as furniture.
Share September 09, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Oh no . . . I always get stuck behind a truck carrying stuff that could fall off and crack my windshield." Dilbert thinks, "I suppose I'm being a little irrational about this." Dilbert's car follows a flatbed truck with a giant hammer balanced on it. Dilbert thinks, "Still, it's hard to shake the feeling."
Share October 05, 1990's comic on:
The caption says, "Dogbert and the garbage man try to clone Dilbert back to life." The garbage man and Dogbert watch as the cloning device makes a buzzing noise and lights up. The garbage man screams, "Aaagh! Run for your life!!! It's a hideous disgusting creature!!!" Dilbert's head appears in the garbage can. Dogbert hands Dilbert a box of baking soda and asks, "Would you care for a little 'Arm and Hammer?'"
Share October 20, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a stool holding a reflex hammer. He says to the patient on the examining table, "Hold still while Doctor Dogbert whacks your knee." As Dogbert taps his knee, the man says, "Aak . . . Crime is society's fault . . . Raise taxes to feed the poor . . . Stop nuclear research . . . Save the . . ." The man covers his mouth. Dogbert says, "Apparently you're a knee-jerk liberal. You can live a normal life but you'll be annoying at parties."