Search Results for "harvard degree over cheeseburger"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #lawyer, #feels wrong, #research, #harvard law degree, #feelingl, #greasy food and ignorance, #data, #harvard degree over cheeseburger, #bad mood, #science, #legal

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Boss: This doesn't feel right. Dilbert: It came straight from our lawyer. Boss: It just feels wrong. Can you research it a little more? Dilbert: Sure. I can do that research in my head. Let's see... our lawyer got his degree at Harvard and has twenty years in this exact field. Whereas you have a "feeling" that is probably the result of an unholy combination of greasy food and ignorance. The data clearly favors the Harvard Law degree over the cheeseburger. ... Good luck. He's in a bad mood.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #fraternization, #bad haircut, #poor font choice, #hand sanitizer, #substance over style

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Alice: I'm judging the quality of your business case by your bad haircut and your poor font choice. I plan to use a quart of hand sanitizer when I'm done touching your document. Man: I value substance over style. Alice: How's that working out?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #monsters, #supernatural beings, #beware of bogeyman, #bad parenting, #one over par, #everyhole

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Asok: My mother always told me to beware the bogeyman. Dilbert: That was bad parenting. There's no such thing as the bogeyman. Boss: I was one over par on every hole. Let me tell you all about it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #correlations, #predicted outcomes, #problem, #enormous ceo compensation, #myth, #control over profits, #awkward, #trap door, #ceo trick, #violent

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Dilbert: I did a study of our past business plans and found something. There's no correlation between our predicted and actual outcomes. That might be a problem for you. Your enormous CEO compensation is based on the myth that you have some control over our profitability. CEO: Ha! Dilbert: Ha! CEO: Is it just me or is this awkward? Dilbert: No, I'm feeling it too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #ventriloquism, #discrepancy, #resume, #degree in engineering, #certification in puppetry, #diploma and bait shop

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Boss: One of our major investors found a discrepancy on your resume. You claim to have a degree in engineering, but in reality you have a certification in puppetry from a place called... Evelyn's Diploma and Bait Shop. CEO: The board has faith in our CEO.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #technical degree, #obsolete, #5 years, #doohickey

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Dogbert: "According to this, a technical degree becomes obsolete in five years." Dilbert: "Do you mind? I'm trying to get some work done on the...uh..." Dogbert: "Uh-oh." Dilbert: "Doohickey."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #broadcasted, #dsn, #identify, #jobs, #movie, #take over, #takeover

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"From now on you'll be working full time on our takeover of DSN." "You must also identify any unnecessary jobs that can be cut after the takeover." "That would be the people who worked on the take-over." "Ooh, I broadcasted that move."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consulting, #liver, #slab of liver, #harvard mba, #good debaters, #brains wrapped

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"When I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' he said his consultants were so smart they had to wrap their brains around their torsos." "But that looks like a slab of liver." "This slab of liver has an MBA from Harvard, you pointy-haired fool!!" "Wow, you guys are good debaters."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #flying pigs, #dilbert dating, #insufficient light, #heel froze over, #rare occasion

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Dilbert: I think I found a woman who likes me, dogcart. Dogbert: No way! Dilbert: Its Phil, the prince of insufficient light! PHIL: Heck just froze over. Dilbert: This is NOT my fault! PHIL: tell them.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ethics questions, #co worker, #pentium pc, #run over foot, #car accident, #parking lot, #Dilbert

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Wally: "I have a question for the Ethics office." "If my co-worker has a 'pentium' pc and I have a 386, is it okay to run over his foot in the parking lot?" "It seemed like a long-shot when I asked."