Search Results for "heard evidence"
Share October 31, 2002's comic on:
The foreman of the jury says, "We find the defendant guilty and we sentence him to death." A woman in the jury says, "Umm.. we haven't deliberated. We haven't even heard any evidence yet." The foreman replies, "Okay, so, what I'm hearing is that Leno's monologue is NOT evidence?"
Share October 10, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "So, since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round." Dilbert says, "Look . . ." Dilbert continues, "You can ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut." Dogbert says, "So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians . . ." Dilbert replies, "Yes . . . No, wait . . ."
Share October 22, 1990's comic on:
The caption says, "Jury deliberation." Dilbert, Dogbert and the other members of the jury sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I'll be the jury foreman, since the rest of you are losers." Dogbert asks, "Did anybody listen to the boring parts with the evidence?" Dogbert says, "And nobody as a coin?! Geez, what's this system coming to??"
Share September 19, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a conference table with several people. The man next to him whispers, "What's your presentation going to be about?" Dilbert replies in a whisper, "Rectangles. We heard the Boss was a geometry major." The man says, "Good thinking. But I heard he was a geography major, not geometry." Dilbert points to a rectangle projected onto the wall and says, "Wyoming: one of the many rectangular states."
Share May 29, 1998's comic on:
Alice and a bloated Dilbert sitting at a table with meals. Dilbert says, "I've been eating like crazy since Dogbert put the fertility drugs in my coffee." Dilbert pats his bloated belly and continues, "I'm guessing I have ten or fifteen babies in there. It's hard to keep them fed." Alice says, "And your only evidence of pregnancy is weight gain?" As Dilbert lifts a sandwich to his mouth, he says, "Here comes another hoagie, kids!"
Share September 03, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of Carol's desk. Carol hold several pieces of paper. Carol says, "I can't process your voucher because these receipts look fake to me." Dilbert reaches for the receipts. Dilbert says, "They aren't fake!" Carol says, "Then why aren't they notarized?" Dilbet's hair stands on end. Dilbert crumples the paper. Dilbert says, "Because they're just receipts!" Carol says, "And now you'll tell me there's no DNA evidence either."
Share April 04, 2000's comic on:
Standing on a table Catbert says to Asok the Intern, "Wally is out on disability. I want you to spy on him." Catbert goes on to say, with arms raised "We need video evidence of Wally doing a vigorous activity." Asok the Intern asks Alice while she faces the computer, "Can you think of anything that Wally does vigorously?" Alice replies without facing Asok the Intern, "I'd rather not."
Share February 06, 2002's comic on:
A woman says into the telephone, "What can I do to avoid getting computer viruses?" On the other end of the line, Dogbert replies, "Give your power cord a spinal adjustment once a week to prevent disease." The woman is adjusting her power cord. She says aloud, "I was skeptical until he said there's anecdotal evidence that it works!"
Share October 07, 2002's comic on:
Dogbert says to Wally and The Boss, "A survey of your TV ad effectiveness shows that no one has heard of your company." Dogbert continues, "Your ad only says your name once, at the end of a boring commercial when viewers have drifted off." Dogbert holds up a drawing of Ratbert in a hole and says, "I recommend throwing your ad money into a special kind of hole." The Boss responds, "When can we start?"