Search Results for "holes in torso"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #context, #contracts, #harvest organs, #holes in contract, #software contract, #signed contract, #holes in torso

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Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "I signed a software contract without getting your input because I was in a hurry." Dilbert says, "Now the software company claims they can harvest my organs." Dilbert says, "Do you see any holes in their contract?" Lawyer says, "They mention holes... in the context of your torso."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #teds baby shower, #gift, #hand crafted items, #three holes, #paper bag, #lovely baby dress, #cheap

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At lunch, Dilbert says to Wally, "I don't know what kind of gift to buy for Ted's baby shower." Wally responds, "Hand-crafted items are good. Cut three holes in a paper bag and you've got a lovely baby dress." Dilbert says, "He might think I'm cheap." Wally holds up the table's salt shaker and asks, "Do you think the kid has a salt shaker yet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #boss in office, #thank me, #all hard work, #measure torso, #knitting sweater

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Carol stands in the doorway of Asok's cube with a measuring tape. Carol says, "Asok, the boss wants to see you in his office." Asok says, "He must want to thank me for all my hard work. Am I right?" Carol says, "I'm supposed to measure your torso." Asok says, "Is he knitting me a sweater?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2003's comic on:


Tags #bad advice, #burrowing in torso, #consultick, #implement

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The Consultick. The Boss: "He'll do more than give us bad advice.." "He'll also make sure we can't implement it without him." The consultick leans over and sticks his hair into The Boss's stomach. The Boss exclaims, "Ha ha! How he's burrowing into my torso, and I've convinced myself it's okay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #office relocation., #new cubicle, #less roomy, #need butter, #torso, #slide in, #attracts rats, #cheap, #low budget

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Office relocation. Asok: Your new cubicle is less roomy than the old one. You will need this butter. Apply it liberally to your torso area and you can slide right in. But don't stay in there for more than 10 minutes at a time because it attracts rats.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #quality estimates, #arm, #torso, #stupid elbow, #forgetful, #yelling, #bearting, #holding document, #senior moments

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The boss: "Alice, where are the quality estimates that I asked you for an hour ago?" "It's between your left arm and your stout torso, about elbow-high." "Stupid elbow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #allowing shorts, #heat wave, #cover you with tarp, #eye holes

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The Boss says, "We're rethinking our policy of allowing shorts during the heat wave." The Boss says, "Until we sort that out, I've been asked to cover you with a tarp." Dilbert thinks, "I should have fought for eye holes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #bragging, #rudeness, #selfishness, #stories, #goat cistume, #donated organs, #hollow torso, #backpack, #zipper, #family of squirrels

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Topper Returns Dilbert says, "I dreamed I was wearing a goat costume." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I donated all of my organs to sick people. Now I use my hollow torso like a backpack." "Dilbert says, "And I tried to go on a date." Topper says, "See my zipper? I took in a family of squirrels!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2003's comic on:


Tags #blame game, #back and fourth, #forgotten, #no time, #didn't look, #tattoo on chest, #no time torso, #read torso, #stickin chest

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Man: You never responded to my urgent request for engineering resources. The Boss: "What?" Man: "I told Alice to ask you!" The Boss: "She must have forgotten." Alice: "I sent you three e-mail messages." The Boss: "You know I don't have time to read my e-mail." Alice: "And I sent you a voicemail." The Boss: "You know I don't have time for voice-mails." Alice: "That's why I also.." "Tatooed it on your stinkin' chest!!!" The Boss: "As if I have time to read my torso."

Brain Escapes Ear Holes

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Brain Escapes Ear Holes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bored, #boredom, #brain, #menial

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Boss: I need you to research this. Dilbert: Uh-oh. This task is so boring that I"m worried my brain will try to escape out of my ear holes. Boss: That's not a real thing, is it? Dilbert: Ow! It's starting!